


Someone Like Me

by CheeseToast99



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Abduction, Anger, Angst and Tragedy, Backstory, Bar Room Brawl, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Bounty Hunters, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Character Study, Childhood Trauma, Death, Developing Friendships, Drama, Drama & Romance, Dreams and Nightmares, Drinking, Drinking to Cope, Dysfunctional Family, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Feels, Fights, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Harassment, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kurta Clan's Scarlet Eyes (Hunter X Hunter), Loss of Control, Loss of Virginity, Marriage Proposal, Martial Arts, Moral Lessons, Murder, Nen (Hunter X Hunter), Nightmares, Origin Story, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Plans For The Future, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Promises, Psychological Trauma, Rage, Returning Home, Revenge, Romantic Friendship, Sad Ending, Sad and Sweet, Sexual Harassment, Slave Trade, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Strong Female Characters, Swordfighting, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:55:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27036793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheeseToast99/pseuds/CheeseToast99
Summary: Kurapika ventured to the rougher part of Yorknew city and went to a dive bar. The bartender was a man with messy brown hair tied back in a loose ponytail and facial stubble. He was much older than he looked even though he did have bags under his eyes. You were cleaning a table with a rag and looked up to see the blonde man walking past you like you weren't even there. Kurapika also currently had tired eyes having not slept properly in days and approached the bar. The atmosphere of the bar completely changed as soon as he entered. Hotta was the bartender’s name and you were his apprentice. Both of you were hunters that gathered intel for the Hunter Association and the Hunter website. Pretending to be a simple waitress gave you the opportunity to eavesdrop on many conversations. You also sold intel for the right price and Kurapika came to learn of this.(Kurapika is drowning in an indescribable emptiness while you and your cool edgy father figure try to help him out. A romance develops between you and Kurapika which complicates everything.)
Relationships: Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter)/Reader
Comments: 33
Kudos: 114





	1. Drink Up

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm very grateful for all the views, kudos, and comments from my other stories. Ironically, this started as a oneshot story where Kurapika drinks too much and somehow evolved into a much longer piece. Now it's a character study that follows Kurapika trying to have a relationship with someone he genuinely likes and relates to while retrieving the scarlet eyes. The character you're reading as also has a tragic backstory and has to work through their own issues. There is a third character in this story, Hotta, who plays a major role. He is an original character that I created. I enjoyed writing all the interactions between the characters, I hope you enjoy the story. 
> 
> Let me know if you want to see another Kurapika story or have any fic requests in mind. 
> 
> Disclaimers: I do not own Hunter x Hunter or the characters. All rights are reserved to Yoshihiro Togashi.
> 
> There is sexual content, harassment and sexual harassment, heavy drinking, violence, death, murder, trauma and shared trauma, references to sex trafficking and child sex trafficking, references to attempted sexual assault, and nightmares. If any of that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read it.
> 
> I want to clarify that Kurapika is 19 years old at this point. This story takes place during the Chimera Ant arc, towards the end of it.

Kurapika awoke in a cold sweat with his heart pounding. He had yet another nightmare imagining the massacre that befell his people. Nightmares came often and that made it hard for him to rest. In all honesty, he wished he didn't need to rest at all. He only wanted to do one thing which was to retrieve the stolen scarlet eyes. He had managed to retrieve them through unsavory means and had to deal with unsavory characters. A few of the eyes trapped in the fluid filled glasses were currently in the dimly lit room.

It was all Kurapika could think about as of late. Melody in particular recognized his slow descent into madness and asked him often if he was okay. She knew by the sound of his heartbeat that he was not. Currently, he was still wearing his suit from earlier though his jacket hung on the back of a chair. At some point, he must have passed out from exhaustion but not for very long. Getting out of bed Kurapika began to put his jacket back on not bothering to smooth out the wrinkles. 

He had a new lead on someone who may know about buyers for the Scarlet eyes. Kurapika ventured to the rougher part of Yorknew city and went to a dive bar. The bartender was a man with messy brown hair tied back in a loose ponytail and facial stubble. He was much older than he looked even though he did have bags under his eyes.  
You were cleaning a table with a rag and looked up to see the blonde man walking past you like you weren't even there.

Kurapika also currently had tired eyes having not slept properly in days and approached the bar. The atmosphere of the bar completely changed as soon as he entered. Hotta was the bartender’s name and you were his apprentice. Both of you were hunters that gathered intel for the Hunter Association and the Hunter website. Pretending to be a simple waitress gave you the opportunity to eavesdrop on many conversations. You also sold intel for the right price and Kurapika came to learn of this. 

Tucking the rag into the back pocket of your pants you approached the bar to listen to their conversation. Hotta greeted him with the same enthusiasm and warmth he greeted everyone with, which was none at all. Kurapika showed Hotta his Hunter’s license proving that he was a hunter. It was rare for Hotta to sell intel to those who weren't fellow hunters. You missed what Kurapika initially asked but you caught Hotta’s response to it.

“Sorry, I don’t have any information about that.”  
“You’re lying,” Kurapika practically growled.  
“Why would I lie?” Hotta asked in a monotone voice. “I make money based on the information I sell and I’m saying I don’t have any for you. The only one who loses here is me.”  
“Tch.” 

Kurapika gave Hotta the look of death for several seconds and the latter made sure to keep eye contact with him. He didn't blink or look away for a moment and maintained the same emotionless expression. Finally, Kurapika’s will broke as he balled his hands into a fist on the countertop and leaned his head against it as if he was punched in the stomach. He was already suffocating from his own grief but this dead end was the final blow. He felt discouraged and angry but there was not a single thing he could do about it. 

“Either get out or buy a drink.”  
“What… do you have?” Kurapika asked quietly.  
“You’ve never been to a bar before, have you?”  
“…”  
“We have the same stuff as everyone else,” Hotta explained with a sigh. “Top shelf is the most expensive, price depends on the brand and quality. For a quick buzz, most people just get a shot of hard liquor which more often than not is whisky.”  
“Then, give me that…”  
“Just one?”  
“Yes… For now.” 

Kurapika took a seat at the bar while Hotta served him his first shot ever. He placed it directly in front of him and crossed his arms. He was watching Kurapika, testing him, interested in seeing what he would do next. You were watching both of them from behind. Kurapika took the glass and held it up to the light. He saw his disheveled appearance in bronze liquid trapped in the small glass. He didn't recognize himself. 

“Are you gonna drink it or inspect it?” Hotta challenged him.  
“He’s probably not even old enough to drink,” you finally interrupted them. “Did you check his ID?”  
“He had a hunter’s license.”  
“No, his actual ID.”  
“Good enough.”  
“Hotta!” 

During the dispute, Kurapika made his decision and drank the shot tossing his head back in one swift motion. He ignored the burn in his throat and slammed the glass back on the table. 

“Refill it.”  
“Wow, you’re really throwing them back aren't you?” you quipped. “Better slow down.”  
“Do you always harass the clientele?” Kurapika retorted coldly.  
“Only when they don’t have any self control.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous…”  
“I’m watching you, blondie.”  
“Good to know, but that isn’t necessary.”  
“I think it is.”  
“Leave me alone,” he said sternly. “I’m asking politely.”

Hotta glanced at you silently telling you to leave this one to him. You sighed and went back to doing your job. Unfortunately, you couldn't focus. There was something about the mysterious blonde man that caught your attention. His angelic features were in contrast with the look of death on his face. You tried to keep count of how many drinks Hotta poured for him. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!? SEVEN!? For a man he was petite so you guessed he had to be under a hundred and fifty pounds which made drinking like this dangerous. You wanted to get involved but every so often Hotta gave you a look that said don’t so you continued to take orders and clean tables. 

Sure enough, Kurapika’s vision began to blur and double as the Hotta refilled his shot glass with the eight shot. Propping himself up by his elbow while slouching on the countertop he looked to the side. The room was spinning for Kurapika and he had a strong urge to vomit. He had to focus on something and so he put his focus on the man next to him. He was drinking a martini with two olives speared with a toothpick. His mind started to play tricks on him and the two olives became two scarlet eyes. His eyes widened at the hallucination as the man sipped his drink. 

Without any warning, Kurapika tackled the man sitting next to him to the ground. The glass fell out of his hand breaking and its contents spilling on the ground. He screamed in reaction to the surprising attack. Kurapika held him firmly in place against the floor and his knee digging into his ribs. 

“HOUW COU-LD YOU—MONSTER!” you heard Kurapika drunkenly scream making you whip your head around. His eyes were glowing bright red as if all of his rage manifested into his eyes. It was beautiful and horrifying at the same time. He had taken his black contact lenses off to sleep and forgot to put them back on. You couldn't take your eyes off of him. His right hand had chains and you didn't remember seeing that before. Regardless, he was ready to fight and maybe even kill. 

“STOP!” you yelled hoping to snap him out of it. You had no idea what brought this sudden outburst on.  
“He—They’ll pay… For what they've done!”  
“HE'S CRAZY!” The man cried out. “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” 

Suddenly, Kurapika was knocked unconscious with a swift chop to the back of his head. He fell face down on the floor and Hotta stood behind him looking down at him solemnly. Hotta’s eyes then met with yours although you were still trying to understand what just happened. 

“Take him home,” Hotta commanded.  
“Why didn't you stop serving him?”  
“A true hunter knows when to stop.” 

You scowled at him in response to that. Hotta was a good man deep down and the only father figure you ever really had. He was stoic and seemingly apathetic but he did care for others. He simply wanted to see how far Kurapika would go and he went too far. He was interested in him from the moment he walked in and so were you. All you knew so far was that he was a hunter but the rest was a mystery. 

You took Kurapika to your apartment and it was small but it was yours. You had a birdcage that housed a beautiful bird. Hotta lived above the bar by himself and surprisingly kept his drinking to a minimum. He believed in restraint and taught you the same. You only had a bottle of cooking wine stashed away somewhere. It was easy to lose oneself in alcohol and you witnessed it every night. Everyone was in pain. You could tell Kurapika was in great pain. You gently placed him on the bed in your room and propped his head up with some pillows. 

It was now the early morning and his phone began to ring inside his suit jacket. You wondered if it was a friend, coworker, or a family member and if you should inform them. Eventually, the ringing stopped only to start again moments later. Kurapika groaned and you decided to fish the phone out of his pocket and answer. While retrieving the phone he grabbed your arm on a reflex and then went limp again. That made you nervous for a second. 

The truth was you didn't know who you were dealing with or how dangerous he was. Not only did you want to inform the caller about his current state but you needed to find out some information. You needed to know who he was and gathering intel was your specialty. Picking up the phone you immediately heard a man yell into it. 

“Finally! I’ve been trying to call you every day! I figured I’d try to get you in the morning and hey, look at that! It worked!”  
“Um, hello…”  
“Who are you? Where’s Kurapika?”  
“His name is Kurapika?”  
“What? you don’t know his name and you’re answering his phone!? Where is he!?”  
“Kurapika is asleep.”  
“What!? And who the hell are you!?”  
“Calm down,” you demanded. “You will speak to me calmly or I’m hanging up. So, who are you?”  
“THAT’S WHAT I’M ASKING YOU!!!”  
“I’m hanging up.”  
“Gyah! Alright! My name is Leorio, I’m his friend… I’ve been trying to call him and he won’t pick up and finally when my call is answered I get some mysterious woman instead of him! What a joke…”  
“Is he… going through something, Leorio?”  
“Huh?”  
“Did he have a bad breakup? Or maybe he lost his job… Maybe a loved one.”  
“Why are you asking that?”  
“Because he got really drunk and had an outburst at a bar. I work there so I saw it happen myself. His eyes even changed colors.”  
“Jeez… You gotta be kidding me. No way… And you’re saying his eyes turned scarlet?”  
“Yeah, and since you’re his friend I’m asking you, is he… Okay?” 

There was a long pause on Leorio’s end and you wondered if he was still there. This was the first time he was quiet during the entire call. 

“You don’t know, do you?” Leorio asked finally breaking his silence.  
“Know what?”  
“Well, It’s not my story to tell so I’m sorry but you’re not gonna get it out of me.”  
“…”  
“But if you really wanna know… When he wakes up ask him what happened to the Kurta Clan and if he tells you, he trusts you. If he doesn’t… Well, you’ll just have to accept that.”  
“I understand… Thank you.”  
“Hey listen,” Leorio said abruptly before you hung up the phone. “Before you go— I know this is a lot to ask for from a stranger, but please, help him. You might be the only person that can talk to him right now. Just— Tell him… Tell him I really— Ah forget it… I’ll tell him myself when he snaps out of it.” 

Leorio hung up on you and you could hear the worry in his voice. His final words nearly moved you to tears. They must have been good friends if he cared that deeply for him. You didn't know what to do with this information. You also were left wondering what was the Kurta Clan. Suddenly, the phone rang again in your hand. You picked it up expecting it to be Leorio again. Maybe he changed his mind and wanted you to give Kurapika a message after all. Instead of Leorio, you heard a soft female voice speak. 

“Kurapika? Oh thank goodness… You looked unwell yesterday so I told myself I would call you first thing in the morning.”  
“Sorry… Not him…”  
“Oh, may I ask who I am speaking with?” 

You explained everything you just finished explaining to Leorio and she listened carefully to every word. Her name was Melody and she worked with Kurapika. She was gentle and patient, unlike Leorio who was rash and demanding. The one thing these two had in common was their concern for Kurapika. 

“I see, he should rest for now,” Melody said. “I will make up an excuse for his absence. Please, take care of him.”  
“I.. I will.” 

People you didn’t even know were putting their faith in you, practically begging you for your help. It surprised you that such a seemingly rude man was so beloved. You peered at the sleeping man, his face which was knotted with rage was now gentle and relaxed. He was lovely like this and it almost felt like the demon he was before was all in your head. You were determined to keep your promise to the people who cherished him. You would protect Kurapika from himself.


	2. Who We Are

The afternoon came quickly and you hadn't realized it since you fell asleep on the couch. Kurapika wasn't the only one who hadn't slept for awhile. Hotta usually had you go home right before the sun came up but this was an unusual situation. You had to take care of Kurapika like you told your friends you would. 

After waking up and rubbing your eyes you went to check on him. The bed was empty and the sheets were tossed about. You wondered when he woke up and if he was long gone by now. For a moment, you thought you failed his friends. You felt as if you were careless and let him slip through your fingers. You checked the room hastily and suddenly you heard someone vomiting from your bathroom. He was still here after all.

You sighed in relief and approached the bathroom door gently knocking. You could hear the sound of running water from inside as Kurapika purged whatever was left in his stomach. 

“Are you okay?” You asked softly. “Do you need anything?” 

Kurapika shut off the water but there was no verbal response from him. You waited for what felt like an eternity for him to open the door. Finally, he cracked the door open with caution. 

“Where am I..?  
“You’re in my apartment.”  
“Did I—Did we— I need you to inform me on what I did.”  
“Well, we didn't sleep together if that’s what you're concerned about,” you paused for a moment. “But… You did do something…”  
“You have to tell me,” he said opening the door wider and leaning to one side.  
“Um, how about some water first?”  
“I already drank some from the sink.”  
“You could have just asked for a glass, you know.”  
“I don’t have time— I need you to answer my question.”  
“At least sit down…” 

You approached Kurapika who stumbled back a step wary of the situation. You grabbed his arm and guided him back to the bed. He pushed you away and made his way to the bed himself. He sat down on the edge of it and looked up at you expecting an answer now. You sighed and told him the truth. 

“You… drank a lot and then you attacked some guy and then your eyes…”  
“What about my eyes?” Kurapika demanded.  
“Well, they turned red… It was something I’ve never seen before.”  
“My eyes turned scarlet?” he asked rhetorically.

Kurapika clutched his head as the blurred memory of the confrontation came back to him. He was silent while he processed all the information and you studied him. After a few moments, you opened your mouth again. 

“Now, I have a question for you,” you said. “What happened… to the Kurta clan?” 

Kurapika’s head shot up at you again and nearly let out a gasp. Of all the things he wasn't expecting you to ask that. He wondered if he mentioned it while he was intoxicated. He wondered if he was totally careless but refused to accept that. 

“Why are you asking me that?” he asked sharply.  
“Your friend Leorio told me I should.”  
“…You know Leorio?”  
“No, he called you and so did Melody.”  
“You answered my phone?” he shouted. “What right did you have to do that!?”  
“They had the right to know your current state and I was gathering information.”  
“Who are you?”  
“A hunter, just like you.” 

Kurapika stood from his spot on the bed and steadied himself. Naturally, you attempted to help him again and he pulled away from you again. He kept his distance and was ready to fight if need be. You narrowed your eyes at his behavior. 

“They’re worried about you and you are ignoring them, why?”  
“I don’t need to explain myself to you.”  
“Tell me why?”  
“I’m leaving.”  
“Answer me.” 

Kurapika found his phone sitting on a table and put it back where it belonged. He then made his way to the apartment door. In a flash, you appeared in front of the door blocking the exit. 

“You’re not leaving. I made them a promise and I intend to keep it.”  
“Please move, I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Kurapika’s threat sent a chill down your spine. He meant every word. You could tell he didn't want to but any caged animal he would fight tooth and nail to get free. Was it worth fighting him and keeping him here against his will? It was something you had to consider. The last thing you wanted to do was fight him, especially after the rough night he had. Looking down you stepped out of the way to let him pass. 

“Go,” you said sadly. 

Kurapika glanced at you and then proceeded to unlock the door. He opened it and attempted to leave only to be kicked back into the room. Hotta, who was right outside the door, gave him one strong kick in the gut.

“Hotta!” you exclaimed as your eyes widened with surprise. You didn't sense him at all and you had a feeling he made sure of that. Kurapika looked up at the man who towered over him. He had the same stony gaze as he did last night. Just looking at him infuriated Kurapika. 

“You…”  
“I’m surprised you remember me with all that drinking you did,” Hotta taunted him.  
“And you let me…”  
“I’m not your keeper. It isn't my job to tell you when enough is enough, that’s something you should know by now.”  
“Tch.”  
“I know what you saw when you freaked out on that business man,” Hotta said. “Or I should say what you thought you saw since it was a hallucination.”  
“You—what?” Kurapika shouted.  
“Your mind is a hellscape.”  
“…”  
“I can see what ever you see or think in real time, hallucinations and all,” Hotta explained. “I can pair my mind with one person I make eye contact with for more than five seconds. Every thought that pops into your head pops into mine. I could even speak with you in your mind if I wanted to, this is the power of my Nen ability Shared Mind.”  
“You can see memories?”  
“I can’t see a memory unless you’re actively thinking about it, the thing is… Most people tend to reminisce when they drink.”  
“You… Saw my memories?”  
“You think a lot about your slaughtered clan and your friends. Your mother and your father… and Pairo.” 

The atmosphere changed drastically and you felt what you knew was bloodlust. The malevolent Aura was oozing out of Kurapika while giving Hotta the look of death.

“Don’t you dare say his name,” Kurapika gave Hotta a sharp warning.  
“When you looked at me like that before that's when I paired with you. If you look away or blink you’ll interrupt the pairing. If a person goes to sleep or falls unconscious the connection is lost. You have no way of knowing if I’m using my ability on you or not.”  
“I’m done listening to you.” 

Kurapika attempted to get past Hotta but he blocked the way. He was much taller than him and more muscular. It was impossible to get past him without removing him by force. Hotta took advantage of his position by continuing to push Kurapika to the edge. He wanted to make him swallow the painfully hard pill that was the truth. You were still confused about what was going on. Clearly, Hotta knew a lot more about him than you did at the moment.

“What if I told you that you’d fully avenge your people but it would take twenty years to do so?”  
“…”  
“What if I said it would take ten? Would you be satisfied?”  
“…”  
“No, you wouldn't be. You wanted the fastest cheapest way to revenge so you threw your own life away to get it.”  
“That’s enough…”  
“You didn't take the time or discipline to earn your power. You’re a child running yourself into the ground and for what? Who are you honoring by doing that?”  
“I said… THAT’S ENOUGH!” 

Kurapika’s eyes turned scarlet once again as he lunged at Hotta with his hand flattened attempting a chop. With ease, he evaded the attack and got behind him. Hotta then put Kurapika in a headlock holding him in place tightly.

“You’re going to kick my ass hungover, malnourished, and sleep deprived?” Hotta egged him on “Is that it?” 

Kurapika hit his chin straight up with the palm of his hand and broke free. Kurapika then took a fighting stance reading himself for another attack. Hotta’s jaw was displaced from the attack. As if he felt no pain Hotta grabbed his jaw and fixed it back in place using nothing but his strength.

Before either of them could attack one another you sounded a sharp whistle from your lips and your bird few out of its cage flapping violently between them. It was a hummingbird, one of the smallest bird species but it was strong and quick. You were a manipulator and with Birdsong, you were able to influence the behavior of various bird species. You could get a bird to fetch things, attack, or even convince other birds to join the flock. You did this with just whistles and clicks of your tongue.

You got in the middle as well with your arms spread out separating them from each other. Your little bird settled down on your shoulder as Kurapika’s eyes turned back to normal.

“Stop it… Or else,” you warned both of them. “Now tell me what is going on.”  
“He thinks—”  
“Not you,” you interrupted Hotta. “I want to hear it from Kurapika. What are the scarlet eyes and what happened to the Kurta clan?”  
“…”  
“Whatever it is, it’s hurting you. I know it is.” 

Kurapika looked at you and only you. So far, he sensed no threat from you. He wasn't sure if he could trust you or not but he felt inclined to give you an answer. He took a deep breath and finally answered your question.

“The scarlet eyes are the eyes from the members of my clan… The Kurta Clan. They were killed for their eyes by a band of thieves… Every last one of them…”  
“…”  
“And now…. My reason for living… Is to retrieve their eyes, so if you’re satisfied now I’ll be leaving. I have a lot to do…” 

Kurapika attempted to make his way out once again. Neither of you physically tried to stop him but Hotta had one last thing to say.

“I found one of the buyers of the scarlet eyes.”  
“What?” Kurapika stopped dead in his tracks and looked over his shoulder. “You said you didn't have any information for me.”  
“I didn’t,” Hotta responded. “But after your outburst, I did some digging and made some calls.”  
“Hotta used to work within the black market,” you explained to Kurapika. “He also did a bunch of other jobs… He has connections.”  
“If you really want to honor your brethren, I can give you more than just information. I can give you my assistance.”  
“I don’t need help from someone like you… You’re scum.”  
“You’re right, I am. I have done things that would make your skin crawl but… this isn't about me. This is about you. You’re gonna refuse my help because you don't like me? How childish.” 

Kurapika scowled at him, clenching his teeth and fists. You knew Kurapika had the wrong impression of him. Hotta always went out of his way to anger others whether it was for the benefit of his power or simply because didn't know how to express himself properly. You also knew Hotta had the wrong impression of Kurapika. Though he had made mistakes his focus was on avenging his people. His heart was in the right place.

“Hotta is a good man,” you nearly shouted. “He saved my life.”  
“You don’t need to defend me.”  
“Well, I am!”  
“Don’t.” 

Kurapika unclenched his fists and teeth, he settled down slightly by your display of loyalty. For the life of him, he could not understand your devotion to this man. 

“What do you mean he saved your life?” Kurapika asked in a calmer voice.  
“You don’t have to tell him,” Hotta insisted but he could not deter you.  
“Have you ever heard of an island called Masneha?” you asked Kurapika.  
“I have not…”  
“It’s an island that was kept in secrecy and was made up of only women. When a woman is sexually mature they become a candidate for going out into the world. Once a year, ten of the strongest females are selected to leave the island for the mating.”

Hotta sat down in a chair and crossed one leg over the other. He knew exactly where you were going with this story and although he didn't like it, he listened anyway. 

“My mother was one of the strongest and was regarded highly among the others. I never knew who my father was. I was told he was a simple man, a farmer. I don’t know if they were in love or not. I like to think that they were but every woman is required to return to the island once they have finished mating.” 

Kurapika wasn't sure why you were telling him this or what to do with it. Instead, he took a seat like Hotta did and listened silently. You held their attention firmly as you continued your tale. 

“I grew up on Masneha with my mother and all of the others. I was a small child that was regarded as weak. The other girls born on the same year beat me up. The elders looked down upon me, they even wanted me dead, but my mother protected me. She said I would be useful one day but when the island was attacked… I was too helpless to do anything.”  
“Please… You don’t need to continue,” Kurapika pleaded finally understanding the point of the story.  
“I want to,” you said firmly. “I want you to understand us.”  
“…”  
“My mother died that day while I was stolen from the island, thrown onto a ship, and taken back to Yorknew City. I was auctioned off to the highest bidder. Hotta was a bodyguard for him at the time.”  
“She was just a child, about twelve years old,” Hotta said taking over the story. “I would have been a heartless fiend to not do anything…”  
“You killed him?” Kurapika asked Hotta.  
“I did,” he said without any hesitation or remorse in this voice. “That, I don’t regret. What I do regret is not doing it sooner…”  
“After that, he trained me to be a hunter. I failed the Hunter Exam the first time I took it. When I finally got my license he trained me some more using Nen. I got strong because of him.”  
“You got strong because you put in the time and effort,” Hotta interjected. “Don’t give me all the credit.”  
“Hotta’s ability lets him see things from the perspective of other people,” you directed at Kurapika. “He has more empathy than anyone I’ve ever known.”  
“…”  
“And I can tell he truly wants to help you too.”  
“It’s my clan and my job to retrieve the scarlet eyes… I will work alone.”  
“That’s not how it works,” Hotta corrected him. “You want to succeed? You’re gonna need people and a lot of them.”  
“…”  
“You tell us what to do and we’ll do it.”  
“…”  
“That’s our offer.”  
“…How much do you want?”  
“Did I say anything about money?” Hotta retorted almost offended.  
“We won’t accept payment this time,” you clarified your intentions. “Survivors stick together. If you give us any money at all, I’ll burn it.”  
“You two… Are serious?”  
“We are,” Hotta and you said in unison.  
“I don’t… I don't want to drag anyone into this. Last time, my friends were almost hurt because of me…”  
“Good thing we’re not friends then.” 

Hotta gave Kurapika a slight smile which was the first time he showed any emotion towards him. Kurapika was surprised by these developments and was almost ashamed of his prejudice. Upon entering that bar he already believed you two were a couple of thugs who made money off of desperate people. 

“I was wrong about you…” Kurapika admitted in almost a whisper.  
“Don’t apologize,” Hotta curtly responded. “I don’t need it.”  
“Hmph. You’re certainly a piece of work,” Kurpika then turned his attention to you his voice was soft and sympathetic compared to before. “And… I am sorry that you had to experience that… You must have been so frightened…”  
“I was, but that was the past,” you declared. “Now, we work to make the world a better place. As Blacklist Hunters we will catch the filth that clings to the underworld. We will assist fellow hunters with their jobs and as of right now, we will help you find and collect the scarlet eyes. Whether you like it or not.” 

Kurapika was amazed by your resolve and it ignited something inside of him. His eyes which were bleak and soulless regained some of the light they lost. You inspired him and gave him a glimmer of hope. He believed it was too good to be true. He tried to think of an ulterior motive you two might have had for volunteering to share this unbearable burden with him but he could find none.

“I only have one rule…”  
“What is it?”  
“Don’t kill anyone,” Kurapika demanded at both of you. “I will not spill any more blood. Enough has been spilled already…”  
“We can agree to those terms,” Hotta spoke for both of you as you nodded in agreement. Somehow, an unlikely alliance was built between the three of you. It was you who convinced Kurapika he could trust both of you. It was you would be the glue to hold them together.


	3. Rage and Restraint

Kurapika was obsessed with his goal and as a result had closed himself off from everyone, especially his friends. He cared for them and didn't want anyone to get hurt because of him. Somehow, you managed to chip away at his icy wall with your honesty and your determination. He believed you spoke straight from your heart and you were brave to share your story with him. On the other hand, he was still wary about Hotta even though you proved he had good intentions. Their personalities clashed and the gap in their experience added to the feud. 

Regardless of what Hotta thought of Kurapika, he was willing to put his life on the line for the cause. He admired the effort but disapproved of the method Kurapika had chosen. You were somewhere in between both of their stances. While you agreed with Hotta about many things you understood Kurapika’s rage well. There was a time you longed for revenge too. Your rage was directed more towards the buyers than the poachers themselves. Both tragedies were a result of supply and demand. 

There were actually people willing to pay for the eyes of another human being just because it was a rarity. Now that the three of you were working together Hotta gave Kurapika the details about the buyer. He was a doctor who collected and admired the parts of the human body. First, it began with patients but then his fascination expanded to oddities such as mutations or gifts like the scarlet eyes. Hotta then devised a plan for taking back what was stolen. 

“Now, if we’re going to do this, I need you to lend me your eyes.”  
“I beg your pardon?” Kurapika snapped.   
“I guess that was a poor choice of words… What I meant was pair with me so I can see what you see and talk you through it.”  
“That isn’t necessary.”  
“Kurapika, you said you would work with us,” you interrupted.   
“I don't need someone to tell me what to do.”   
“Put your pride on the shelf for five seconds…” Hotta complained.   
“You think I’m prideful?”  
“Sure do.”   
“My pride nothing compared to my—”   
“Just trust us,” you urged while cutting him off.   
“…”   
“Please?”

Kurapika looked away from you and your wide eyes. It was hard to say no when you looked at him like that. Although he was focused he wasn't blind. He too acknowledged how beautiful you were but your beauty was the last thing on his mind right now. Reluctantly, he chose to put in faith in you and Hotta by consenting to use Shared Mind. A few days later Kurapika waited for the surgeon to return to his car in the hospital parking garage. He waited inside the darkness of the backseat like an angry ghost. The doctor entered his car and turned it on. When checking the rearview mirror he was startled to see Kurapika there. 

“W-what do you want? Who are you!?”   
“There is something in your possession that doesn't belong to you,” Kurapika said firmly. “I’m taking it back.”   
The doctor attempted to open the door which earned him a swift chop to the arm from Kurapika. It wasn't hard enough to break it but it was hard enough to make him yell in pain. 

“If you run, I’ll catch you. If you scream, I’ll silence you.”   
“…”   
“Drive.”

The doctor did as Kurapika said and started to drive. He instructed him to drive home as you and Hotta tailed the car. Kurapika asked directly about the scarlet eyes to which the doctor admitted he had them. Once arriving at the home the doctor led Kurapika to the basement and opened the door. 

He went down the dark staircase first as Kurapika held the back of his collar firmly. Once down the stairs, the doctor reached for a light that dangled from the ceiling. Pulling the switch illuminated the basement and made Kurapika’s eyes widen with horror. There were various body parts in jars, most of which were mutated in some way. Among them were the scarlet eyes kept high above the rest on its own shelf. 

“Beautiful right? That’s by far my favorite piece…” 

Kurapika responded by roughly shoving the doctor to the ground knocking a tray down in the process. He then slammed a foot on his stomach to keep him in place and balled his hands into a fist trying to fight the urge to beat him to a bloody pulp. 

“You’re sick… You don’t deserve to be a doctor.”   
“I don’t? Doctors spend their whole life studying the human body… They treat one person after another but I get rather attached to things… I guess I’m just sentimental.” 

The doctor smiled at him still proud of his collection. His lack of remorse fanned the flames of Kurapika’s rage. The thought of Leorio and his dream of being a doctor popped into Kurapika’s head. It was unfair that he had to compete with frauds such as this. 

“They heal! They’re healers and you’re… You’re a disgrace.”   
“Kurapika,” Hotta said telepathically to him. “Do not engage. You came for the eyes and that’s it. Show restraint.”

Hotta was now acting as Kurapika’s conscience with Shared Mind. The interruption stopped his eyes from turning scarlet. Kurapika had difficulty calming himself down once he was enraged. Knowing all his trigger points Hotta guided him back to sanity.

“There is power in discipline and honor in mercy. Though, some people don’t deserve mercy, I’ll admit it.   
“…”   
“You decide, is this one of those situations?” 

Surprisingly, Hotta’s words worked to calm him down. He took a moment to relax and unclench his fists. While he did that the doctor grabbed a syringe on the floor and aimed for his leg. Kurapika reacted quickly and jumped away from him. 

“You’re special,” The doctor smiled. “I’ll enjoy experimenting on you.”   
“That won’t happen.”   
“That’s it,” Hotta encouraged. “Stay calm, stay focused.”

Kurapika conjured the Dowsing Chain and prepared to use it defensively. Instead, he heard a whistle from you. Three pigeons flew into the basement on cue and attacked the doctor, distracting him from Kurapika. He understood you were giving him an opportunity to get the eyes. He had a choice to continue the fight or get what he came for. He chose to abandon the confrontation and retrieved the eyes. Once Kurapika came out of the basement you whistled again calling off the local birds. 

“Let’s go.”   
Kurapika starred into the dark basement once again as if he was looking at the abyss that led to hell. You grabbed his arm pulling him out of his trance.   
“Let’s go, Kurapika.” 

Once the deed was done you three retreated to Hotta’s apartment above the bar. It was messier than yours and full of music memorabilia. Hotta ordered takeout for the three of you since none of you had eaten dinner. The scarlet eyes remained at Kurapika’s side with a cloth thrown over it. You used your chopsticks to quickly push the rice from the takeout container into your mouth. Hotta did the same but at a slower pace than you. He glanced at Kurapika who stared grimly at the food not touching his chopsticks. 

“You’re not gonna eat?” Hotta asked him.   
“I’m not hungry…”   
“Kurapika, please eat your food,” you encouraged him.  
“How… Do you eat after that?”   
“You don’t think about it, that’s how.”   
“…”   
“We’re still paired so I know what you’re thinking,” Hotta said wiping his mouth. “You’re thinking about all the other body parts he collected. All the other people who died and suffered.”   
“Stay out of my head,” he warned Hotta.  
“They aren't your concern. That wasn't the mission.”   
“How… Can you be so cold hearted?”   
“Easily.”   
“Tch.” 

Kurapika rose to his feet grabbing the covered scarlet eyes. He walked towards the door avoiding eye contact with either of you. 

“I’m leaving. I have to take care of the scarlet eyes…”   
“At least take your food with you.”   
“I’m fine.” 

Hotta put his chopsticks down and rose to his feet. You watched him carefully unsure what he was about to do. 

“Kurapika, you wait a second.”   
“…What?”   
“We’ll take you home.”   
“That isn’t—“   
“Or you can stay here, if you want…”   
“No, thank you…”  
“Or you can stay with me,” you added.   
“…Why are you two so concerned about me?”   
“We have an agreement so you’re one of us right now,” Hotta answered casually. “I can only afford to care about those who I know personally. You’ll emotionally exhaust yourself mourning over everybody.”   
“Doesn't everyone deserve to be mourned?”

Kurapika’s words punched Hotta in the gut and for the first time, he was silent. He thought long and hard about what the young man had to say. 

“…”  
“He’s got a point, Hotta,” you agreed with Kurapika.   
“…”   
“Out of all those eyes… How many of them belong to people who meant something to you?”   
“How dare you ask me something like that!”   
“It’s a genuine question,” Hotta said seriously. “I’m not trying to be a smart ass about it.”   
“Go to hell…” 

Hotta sighed as Kurapika left slamming the door on the way out. He walked back over to the short table and sat back down cross legged. He ran his hands through his messy hair and tilted his head back. 

“You made him upset again,” you said.   
“Yeah, I seem to do that a lot, huh…”   
“Can you stop doing that?”   
“It won’t make a difference… He’s his own worst enemy and that’s never gonna change no matter what I say. He’s gonna wear himself out before the job is done.”  
“I still want to help him…”   
“So do I.”   
“Well, you got a funny way of showing it…”   
“I’m already working on tracking down another buyer,” Hotta said picking up his chopsticks again. “There’s a lot of freaks out there pretending to be everyday people so it might take some time.”   
“Right…”   
“and this isn't exactly pleasant for me either, you know.”  
“Then why do it?”  
“It’s a good cause and he’s a good kid.”   
“So you do like him after all?” you teased.   
“I said he was a good kid,” Hotta corrected you. “I didn't say I liked him.”   
“If you didn't like him I know you wouldn't be so hard on him.”   
“You got me all figured out, huh?”   
“You were relentless during my hunter training…”   
“Heh, yeah I remember.” 

Hotta smiled a bit reminiscing about training you and raising you to become a strong young woman. His thoughts then turned dark when he thought about what would have happened if you didn't have each other. He hoped that at this point you were independent enough to take care of yourself. 

“When I die, don’t make such a fuss about it… Just know I was ready to go a long time ago.”   
“Why… Are you telling me that?” you asked a bit alarmed.   
“Because anyone can die at any moment. No one is ever ready but it’s the living that really suffers the most, as you can see with Kurapika.”   
“What if I go before you do?” you asked curiously.   
“I would never let that happen.” 

Hotta said it with a stern look and meant every word of it. Although you had a dangerous job he would never actively put you in danger. It meant a lot to you that he was so willing to give his life for yours but you didn't want him to be reckless. In that regard, Hotta and Kurapika were similar, even if they didn't want to admit it. You couldn’t let Kurapika continue down this path without doing everything in your power to help him. 

“So… Where is Kurapika now?” you said chaining the subject.   
“He just passed the corner store so about three blocks away,” Hotta responded while using Shared Mind. “You can catch him if you’re quick about it.”   
“I’ll just use your motorcycle.”   
“Don’t touch my motorcycle.”   
“I’m gonna bring him home.”   
“If you get one scratch on it—”  
“Bye!” 

You got up and quickly rushed out the door heading downstairs. “At least wear the helmet!” you heard Hotta tell from inside the apartment. Exiting through the bar’s backdoor you got Hotta’s motorcycle out and put the helmet on. You revved it up and sped out of the alleyway with one goal in mind. Find Kurapika. 

Small droplets of water started to fall from the sky. Kurapika looked up and continued to walk while holding the eyes in their container. It was just his luck that he had to walk in the rain. It didn't matter much to him, it was just one more thing he had to endure. You saw his damp blonde hair and knew immediately that was him. You pulled to the side and revved up the motorcycle once.   
“Get on!” you shouted.   
“I’m fine.”   
“Get on,” you repeated sternly.   
“You don’t have to do this…”   
“We want to.”   
“Why would anyone want to go through hell… With me? Why?”   
“So you don’t have to go alone.” 

Kurapika looked up at you shocked and awed by your response. You were brave, no, you were fearless. He didn't fully understand either of you yet. He didn't know why, with Hotta’s clashing ideals, he was so instant, or why you were so determined to be by his side. 

“Stick with us, Kurapika,” you assured him. “We won’t fail you.” 

He wanted to believe he was doing the right thing by getting you two involved. His fears grew with the growing number of people that came into his life. More people he had to worry about mourning for. It was becoming obvious that he needed both of you even if he rather be alone. He needed the assistance and the first mission together, though it was gruesome, was successful. 

“Thank you,” Kurapika said with one tear falling down his cheek that was disguised by the rain. “Thank you… For everything…”   
“You can thank us later,” you assured him. “When the job is complete.”   
“…”   
“Now, come on.” 

He approached you slowly as you got up from the bike and let Kurapika get on first. He held firmly onto the eyes as you pressed your body against his back and held onto the motorcycle handlebars. It was as if you were shielding him with your own body. Your warmth brought him some comfort and then something he couldn't explain popped into his head. He wanted to feel more of that comfort and lay in your arms until death came for him. It was random and unexpected but he felt it. 

It surprised him that he felt such strong feelings toward someone he barely knew. Similarly, you felt the urge to hold him tightly and assure him everything as going to be alright. You couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was with his blonde hair and ruby earring blowing in the wind during the ride. Neither of you quite knew what to do about these strange feelings. 

Meanwhile, Hotta used Shared Mind for the last time tonight and received the thought about you from Kurapika. He didn't even need to use his Nen ability to know something was brewing in his heart.

“This is gonna be trouble…” Hotta thought to himself cleaning up the table and putting away the leftover takeout. Little did he know that the feeling was mutual.


	4. Getting to Know You

For a time, Kurapika went about his business as you two went about yours. Hotta was working to track down another buyer but hadn't had any leads so far. Kurapika didn't rely on just Hotta for information. He did his own investigative research as well. The underworld was a complex web of filth. One person always led to another, and another. Even you sent birds out to survey the city from the skies. 

Two weeks passed since you last saw Kurapika and you had to admit you missed him. During your last encounter, the night he retrieved the scarlet eyes from the doctor, you gave him your number. You asked him to call you for anything at all. Now, just like Leorio, you were stuck waiting by the phone for a call that would never come. 

As for Kurapika, you were his only relief from thinking about his clan or the scarlet eyes. He thought about you often. Sometimes, your image was enough to soothe him to sleep. Unfortunately, the nightmares persisted. He completely swore off alcohol or drugs as solutions to his insomnia. The first and last time he drank got dangerous and he would not repeat the same mistake twice. Kurapika looked at your number in his phone and wondered if he should bother you. Were you asleep? Were you working? Were you thinking about him at all? 

Kurapika decided to call you, and your phone rang in your pants pocket as you carried a drink over to one of the bargoers. Putting the drink down, you fished it out of your pocket but it was too late. Flipping the phone up you saw the number was Kurapika. 

“Shit!” you yelled louder than you meant to catching Hotta’s attention. He gave you a strange look as did the other patrons.  
“What?” Hotta asked dryly.  
“I’m taking my break now!” 

You pushed your way out of the bar and exited through the backdoor. Hotta raised his eyebrow at your strange behavior. Meanwhile, Kurapika sighed and figured you were busy. He regretted calling you but almost Immediately, you returned his call and he debated whether he should answer or not. Ultimately, deciding it would be rude not to, he answered it. 

“Yeah…?”  
“What do you mean ‘yeah?’ You called me, Kurapika.”  
“I did? My mistake…” He lied.  
“Don’t get coy with me, blondie.”  
“We’re back to that nickname?”  
“Well, that’s what you are in my phone.”  
“Please change it.”  
“No, I don't think I will,” you joked but then refocused. “So, did you need something?” you asked.  
“No I— I just wanted to know if you had any word on a buyer?” Kurapika lied again.  
“Sorry, we don’t have any info for you yet.”  
“Right, sorry to bother you…”  
“You’re not bothering me. I was hoping you’d call eventually.”  
“You were?”  
“You should call your other friends too.”  
“…”  
“Kurapika?”  
“You consider me one of your friends?”  
“I think so, I mean, I know we’re working on a job together but… I think we could be friends…” 

Kurapika stayed silent thinking about his close friends. Leorio, Gon, Killua and even Pairo came to mind. He felt so blessed to have each and every one of them in his life but what cost? Now you too were willingly to add yourself to his list of friends. He didn't think he had anything to offer you as a friend. 

“Hey, Kurapika… Do you want to meet up?”  
“Right now?”  
“Yeah.”  
“What for?”  
“Just because…”  
“I’m sorry, I really should try to get some sleep…”  
“You can’t sleep again?” you asked concerned.  
“Um—”  
“I’ll come to you.”  
“No— Don’t.”  
“Then you should come over. I’ll make you some tea.”  
“No, thank you… I—“  
“It’s a secret recipe… A recipe from Masneha.”  
“I’m not worthy of something like that…”  
“That’s not true.”  
“…”  
“I’ll see you soon, meet me at my apartment. You remember how to get there don’t you?”  
“Wait a second—“ 

You hung up on Kurapika before he had a chance to say no again. He had a bad habit of keeping himself at arm's length. You were trying your hardest to put an end to that. Meanwhile, Hotta groaned hearing the sound of his motorcycle rev up and speed away. He had a feeling about who you were so excited to see. Putting his beloved motorcycle aside for a moment, he thought you were being incredibly careless. He would be sure to bring that to your attention later. 

You got to your apartment first and started to brew the special herbal tea as your hummingbird flew from flower to flower in your apartment. The bird sucked up the flower nectar while you crushed some flowers. You rolled a rolling pin over the flowers breaking them into pieces. 

While you did that you wondered if Kurapika would ignore your invitation. So far there was no sign of him nor did he call you again. You also remembered leaving Hotta at the bar by himself without a simple explanation. He was really gonna let you have it later, that much you knew. You didn't understand why you were so eager to see Kurapika again. With the way your heart fluttered at the thought of him your feelings had to be romantic. 

The concept of love was almost unheard of for the Masneha women. They mated for population purposes only. Relationships among the females on the island was punishable by death. It was cruel and one of the many things you disagreed with. Living in a modern city for about nine years made you grow accustomed to seeing public affection. It wasn't unusual to see couples hold hands while walking across the street or even kiss in public.

It was something you fantasied about having for yourself. The problem was finding someone you could trust wholeheartedly. So far, Hotta was the only man you came to trust. Perhaps you had a habit of keeping others at arm's length too but with Kurapika you felt compelled to reach out to him. It was up to him to extend his hand and reach back. 

Setting the water and herbs on the flame you concluded that he wasn't coming. You decided you would drink the tea yourself. He wasn't the only one who suffered from night terrors. Unlike Kurapika, who could only imagine the massacre of his clan you were there. You had to bear witness to the bloody battle and the death of your mother. The teapot whistled interrupting the dark thoughts of your past. In truth, you wanted the company as much as you wanted to help Kurapika. Suddenly, your phone rang and you picked it up.

“I’m outside,” Kurapika said surprising you.  
“You are?”  
“Should I… Come in?”  
“Only if you want to…”  
“I do,” Kurapika said firmly. “If not, I don’t think I would have gone through the trouble of coming in the first place…” 

Kurapika’s response relieved you a little and you welcomed him in your apartment. He took off his shoes upon entering and you informed him the tea was done. Complementing his perfect timing you poured two mugs as he looked around your living room idly while standing. His eye went to the hummingbird fluttering from one flower to another until going back into its tiny birdcage. Kurapika wasn’t exactly sure why he was here but he knew he didn't want to be anywhere else. 

You re-entered the living room holding two mugs with steam flowing from the top. You couldn’t help but notice his awkward stance and lost look. You held one steaming mug out to him. 

“Here you go.”  
“Thank you…” Kurapika said taking it from you as you sat down on the couch.  
“Um… You can sit if you like…”  
“Right.” 

Kurapika sat down as far away from you as the couch allowed. You appreciated Kurapika giving you space but the large gap between served as a reminder. You still had a lot of work to do if you were to truly be friends. Kurapika silently sipped the tea and you searched his face for a reaction. 

“Is the tea okay, you asked?”  
“It’s… Certainly strong…”  
“I know it tastes bad,” you smiled. “You can say it.”  
“I won’t insult a recipe from your culture.”  
“I appreciate that… But it’s notorious for being bitter. No one actually liked it… The benefit is its calming effect.”  
“Do you mind telling me what’s in it?”  
“I can’t tell you very much since it is a secret recipe that only I know now… But it has crushed rose petals and Cibbali root.”  
“I see… That’s very interesting. Thank you for sharing it with me…”  
“My mother gave me the recipe.” 

You looked sadly into your mug and Kurapika silently sipped his again. He didn't ask you anything further to avoid stirring up any bad memories, though you didn't mind sharing. You also wanted to know more about Kurapika. You both sat in an awkward silence until you finally mustered up the courage to ask the difficult question that was on your mind. 

“What was the Kurta Clan like?”  
“Why are you asking me that?”

As expected Kurapika became defensive and you remained calm not wanting him to completely shut down. You made it this far and you didn't want him to run away now. 

“I’m curious.”  
“That isn't something I want to discuss.”  
“Why?”  
“You know why, I won’t explain it again.”  
“Kurapika, forget about the massacre and the scarlet eyes. I want to know about your heritage… Who were they beyond all that?” 

His eyes widened as he processed what you just said. No one ever cared about who the Kurta Clan was, all that mattered was the coveted scarlet eyes. 

“You… Want to know about my heritage?”  
“Yes.”  
“No one… Has ever asked me that before…”  
“Tell me everything. Traditions, food, clothes, and favorite pastimes.”  
“Why..?” Kurapika asked sadly. “What’s the point of reminiscing about something that no longer exists?”  
“Because it lives on in your heart.” 

Kurapika was surprised again by your powerful words. You were only two years older than him but you spoke with so much wisdom and compassion that you seemed years beyond him. He silently pondered between sips of the bitter tea and then spoke. 

“They were… Modest and… Reclusive… They feared the outside world… Everyone lived and worked within the clan’s territory. 

You stayed silent but listened intently to Kurapika. You were grateful that he was opening up to you even though you could tell his mind was still stuck on the clan’s downfall. 

“If you wanted to leave and venture out into the world you had to go through a series of tests… I passed all of them and… I left… That’s when—”  
“Don’t.”  
“They had good reason to fear the outside world… I see that now… Anyone who witnessed the scarlet eyes thought of us as monsters and now—“  
“I don’t want to know about the scarlet eyes.”  
“But you don’t understand. It’s the whole reason—”  
“I want to know what made the Kurta Clan special to you… That’s all.”  
“It was special… Because it was home.”  
“…”  
Even though I wanted to go to the outside world it was always home— My mother supported me but my father disagreed with her.”  
“What was she like?”  
“She… She was kind and always smiled… She also had an adventurous side… I believe she wanted to see the outside world at one time… She was my greatest role model…” 

Kurapika looked down trying to hold back the tears building up. You scooted closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head and your eyes met with his. He really did have beautiful eyes even when they weren't scarlet.

“Mine too,” You said sympathizing with Kurapika. “Though, I couldn't live up to my mother… In the end, I was useless.”  
“You’re wrong,” Kurapika corrected you. “You are very strong and I admire you for it.”  
“I’m strong now…”  
“Your spirit is strong and I’m sure that it always was.” 

Kurapika’s words meant a lot to you and now you were the one holding back your tears. He put his mug down and used the sleeve of his white button down shirt to wipe away a tear that rolled onto your cheek. You smiled at that kind gesture and did the same for him. All of the awkwardness seemed to have vanished and the gap between you two was also nonexistent. Now, you were getting somewhere. 

“Who is Pairo?” you practically whispered.  
“He was… My best friend,” Kurapika answered in a voice as soft as yours. “We did everything together… We would go on adventures and explore and there was nothing we enjoyed more than that… When we learned about the outside world… We knew there was so much out there just waiting for us.”  
“Did you get into trouble often?”  
“Not often but… There were times we were scolded.”  
“Heh, I knew you were a troublemaker.” 

Kurapika’s guard went back up and pulled himself away feeling guilt over his past mistakes. 

“I was stupid and reckless… Pairo saved me and as a result, he was injured… That was my real reason for leaving the Kurta Clan. I wanted to find a way to help Pairo…”  
“Kurapika…”  
“I have caused my friends to suffer for as long as I can remember… If you stay by my side you are bound to get hurt.”  
“You’re not cursed.”  
“Maybe I am. I seem to bring death wherever I go.”  
“That’s very narcissistic of you to say.”  
“Narcissistic?”  
“The world is cruel. Everything and everyone is a commodity whether dead or alive. It’s unfair to put everything on your shoulders.”  
“Even so, you shouldn't spend so much time with me…”  
“I like spending time with you.” 

Kurapika knew there was nothing he could do or say to stop you. No matter how hard he pushed you pushed back. He sighed and accepted it, you were friends now after all. 

“So would you… Like to hear about my culture now?”  
“Yes… I would…” 

You began to tell Kurapika more about Masneha and avoided the painful memories. You told him about the food, music, and special places on the island. You had his attention since he loved hearing about exotic places. He did have a love for adventure. After a while, Kurapika’s head started to fall to the side as he attempted to fight his own fatigue. His head fell to your shoulder and you immediately stopped talking. His eyes were closed but soon he opened them again. 

“I’m sorry…”  
“It’s alright… I don’t mind.”  
“I’m… Listening…”  
“You should go to bed now, Kurapika.”  
“I like listening to you… Please continue.”  
“Alright…” 

You readjusted him in a more comfortable position with his head on your lap and resumed talking. It lulled him to sleep as if you were telling him a bedtime story. Without even realizing it your hand found his hair and you aimlessly played with it. It all felt very natural as if you've known each other for years. You wondered if you were crossing some sort of boundary but there was no negative response from Kurapika. He smiled so sweetly even while being half asleep. 

“That feels nice…”  
“You like it?”  
“I do…” 

You continued to comb your hands through his blonde hair in the gentlest way. His eyes were shut once again and you admired his angelic features. Once he was asleep you carefully lifted his head from your lap and removed yourself from the couch. Kurapika reacted on a reflex grabbing your arm just like he did before. 

“Don’t go…” he sleepily groaned out.  
“I’ll be right back…” 

Kurapika’s arm went limp as you quickly went to your room to retrieve a blanket and a pillow. You tucked a pillow behind his head and threw a blanket over him. Turning off the lights in the room you let him sleep and then went to your bedroom. Getting into bed you slept peacefully knowing Kurapika was here with you. You wanted him here with you. 

The next day Kurapika tried to leave without waking you up but you caught him. Your ears were incredibly keen and he simply couldn’t avoid making noise. 

“I have somewhere to be…” Kurapika explained.  
“Wait, Kurapika— You’re welcome to stay with me again… If it helps.”  
“I… Are you comfortable with that?”  
“It’s strange… But I feel safe with you.” 

Kurapika’s heart leapt at your words and it was another foreign feeling to him. He always believed he put others in danger but you actually felt safe with him. He felt like he found a new home with you and thought it was too good to be true. He thought there had to be some sort of catch. You were something out of a dream but it was real. You were real. 

“I— I’ll consider it…” 

Kurapika didn't commit to yes or no but he absolutely wanted to see you again. You wanted to see him again as well. You wanted another night like this though with your schedule you weren't exactly sure how that would work out. 

Speaking of schedules… Later that day you entered the bar unsure what Hotta’s reaction to your behavior would be. He didn't call or text you which was unusual even for him. You returned his motorcycle and tied the little half apron around your waist. Hotta was behind the bar as usual cleaning the glasses. You approached the bar with hesitation and cleared your throat earning a glance from Hotta. 

“Um… Sorry I stole your motorcycle again…”  
“…”  
“And sorry I kinda left you at the bar…”  
“…”  
“Please say something… You scare me when you’re quiet…” 

Hotta put down the glass the was cleaning and slung the rag over his shoulder. He gave you his undivided attention and looked straight at you. 

“He’s going to break your heart,” he said bluntly.  
“Hotta.”  
“He’s going to.”  
“We’re just friends…”  
“Uh-huh…”  
“It’s true.”  
“You know I can just use my ability to find the truth, right?” 

You threw your hands over your eyes to defend against Hotta’s Nen ability. He rolled his eyes at your childish behavior. 

“We’re just friends!”  
“Then why are you covering your eyes?”  
“Why can't you just respect my privacy!?”  
“Stop that,” Hotta scolded. “I won’t do it… But you need to know you’re asking for trouble.” 

You pulled your hands away from your face to see Hotta looking at you intensely. The atmosphere became tense and you were a little surprised at how serious he was being over this. 

“He’s either going to push you away like everyone else… Or he’s going to kill himself. Either way, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.”  
“I believe in Kurapika. He’s more than that…”  
“You weren't inside his head. You don’t know everything I do.”  
“Are you… Hiding something from me?”  
“Ask him what he did to get stronger.”  
“It doesn't matter.”  
“It does.”  
“Whatever, Hotta… We got customers,” you said with a sigh while walking away. 

Hotta narrowed his eyes, displeased with your flippant response. Now, he was torn between wanting to help Kurapika fulfill his goal and keep you from getting romantically involved with him.


	5. Taking a Risk

Days went by without seeing Kurapika again and you thought he may have completely vanished. You didn't know where he was or when he would return. As usual, he didn't answer his phone. You sent him a text asking if he was alright and received no reply. You were beginning to get frustrated as your desire to see him again grew. You also had a suspicion Hotta knew more than he was letting on. You approached the bar pretending to clean the countertop. Glancing up slightly you began your interrogation. 

“I haven’t heard from Kurapika in awhile… Know anything about that?”   
“I found another buyer, Kurapika is tracking them down right now.”   
“What!?” you shouted. “Why didn't you tell me?”   
“He wanted to go alone this time,” he said unapologetically.   
“Why are you keeping me out of the loop, Hotta? You said we would help him together.”   
“I didn't see a point in telling you.”   
“Tch. Do you know when he’ll be back?”   
“No.”   
“You sent him away on purpose… Didn't you?”   
“…” 

You glowered at Hotta knowing that was an absolute lie. His facial expression didn't change whatsoever. Ever since Kurapika entered the picture something was happening to your relationship with Hotta. There was more tension than usual and a seemingly small crack in your bond began to get wider. It was becoming noticeable now and you didn’t want to admit it was there.

“You know I’m not a little girl anymore, right?”   
“I know that.”   
“Then why keep secrets?” 

Hotta looked away from you and walked over to a man sitting at the bar. Pretending the conversation was over as he took his order and started to fix his drink. Once it was close to 3:00 am Hotta said you could go home. The bar was opened all night because Hotta believed the true monsters came out at night. He waited for them to waltz in, seduce them with alcohol, and use his Nen ability. This was the way the operation always ran. Hotta was reluctant in letting you work the bar with him and he only allowed it after you turned eighteen. 

Hotta taught you the delicate art of getting someone to spill their secrets. Unlike him, you didn't have Shared Mind, but you had a pretty face which could be just as dangerous. He tried to deter you from working with him but you wouldn't hear of it. You had a purpose at the bar and you were a hunter. You held your own against the occasional rowdy customers making lewd comments. You knew how to handle it but that never stopped Hotta from throwing them out, quite literally. One time in particular he broke a man’s arm and tossed him across the bar. He has always been overprotective of you, since the very first day you met, but when it came to Kurapika something was different. 

Kurapika wasn't the usual trash Hotta would throw out. He was a good man but a misguided one. You knew he wasn't perfect but he was the one constantly on your mind. And speaking of Kurapika… When you got home and flopped onto your bed your phone rang. You saw his nickname and lit up at the sight of it. Finally…

“Kurapika?” you said picking up the phone.   
“Yes..?”   
“Where are you?”   
“Outside… Outside your apartment…”   
“You’re here?”  
“Yes…”  
“You know you can just… Knock… Right?”   
“I didn't know if you were prepared for visitors… I don’t want to be rude.”   
“Speaking of rude,” you changed your tone. “You didn't answer your phone again.”   
“I know.”   
“How hard is it to give one simple phone call or text message?”  
“I was busy.”   
“And I was worried,” you retorted. “You should have taken me with you…”   
“Hotta said you had something else to do and I preferred to go alone anyway.”   
“Oh he did, did he?” you said annoyed but not surprised. “Whatever… We can talk about this later. You should come in.” 

Kurapika came up to your apartment and you were annoyed at both him and Hotta. He lied to Kurapika in an attempt to distance the two of you while Kurapika couldn't just let you know he was alive. Your rising anger was quelled when you opened the door and saw him. His blonde hair was disheveled, his suit was wrinkled, and his eyes were devoid of any light just like the day he first entered the bar. You threw your arms around Kurapika pulling him into a comforting hug. 

“I-I see you’re happy to see me…”   
“Of course I am…” 

Kurapika smiled softly leaning into the hug and resting his head on your shoulder. Alcohol, drugs, and material possessions could not provide any comfort for Kurapika. It was you who gave him solace and it was the reason he was back. Compared to him you smelled lovely like a meadow in the springtime. You were so full of life and love that just being around you reminded him that he wasn't dead yet. You were a little taken aback by Kurapika’s response to your hug. You expected him to push away as he had done before but this time his neediness showed itself. Gently you removed yourself from the hug and Kurapika recognized it was time to let you go. 

“So, did you get the scarlet eyes?” you asked him.   
“Yes… But I don’t want to talk about it… I’m… I’m tired…”   
“Yeah I bet, did you eat?”   
“No.”  
“Eat first, then go to bed. I’ll make you something.”  
“…If it’s not too much trouble for you…”   
“It’s not. I’ll make you whatever you want.”   
“Just… Whatever is easiest to make…”   
“How about an omelet?”   
“I don’t care… That’s perfectly fine…” 

Kurapika avoided eye contact and it looked like his mind was still elsewhere. Based on your last mission in helping him retrieve the eyes you knew he was traumatized again. 

“Is… Something wrong?”   
“No— I— Do you… Mind if I take a shower? I feel dirty…”   
“Um, yeah sure.”   
“Thank you…”   
“I’ll find you a change of clothes and then I’ll make your omelet.”   
“I can wear what I have on…”   
“But that would defeat the purpose of a shower… Don’t worry I’ll find something.” 

Kurapika went in the direction of the bathroom while you went to your bedroom. Opening a drawer you went through your clothes looking for something that would fit him. Thankfully he was a slim man and that made fitting into a woman’s clothes easier. You weren't the same size and you were taller than him. The average Masneha woman grew to be about seven or eight feet tall and you were almost six feet tall. You were the shortest of your kind although no average person could tell the difference. 

You found a simple white long sleeve shirt and black sweatpants which you laid out for him on the bed. As far as undergarments go… He’d have to figure that part out for himself. You thought for a moment that if Kurapika intended to come around often he ought to keep some of his clothes here too. You were glad he came back to you and he was in one piece. Like always you intended to take care of him as much as he would let you.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Kurapika hunched over in the shower letting the hot water hit his neck and roll off his back. His wet hair fell on either side of his face as he stared at the drain reliving his most recent journey and retrieving the scarlet eyes. He was sober but still fatigued from the mental taxation the trip had on him. Kurapika was stuck in a trance as his eyes began to deceive him once again. The water rushing into the drain turned blood red and Kurapika’s eyes widened in horror. 

Kurapika put his hands over his eyes shutting them tightly and trying to stop himself from screaming. The pace of his breathing increased and he wondered if he was really losing his mind. Suddenly, you knocked on the door pulling Kurapika out of his hysteria.

“I found something you could wear," you said through the door. "The clothes are in my bedroom so you can change in there when you’re ready.”   
“…”   
“Also do you want cheese on your omelet or no?”   
“…”   
“Kurapika?” 

Kurapika removed his hands from his eyes and the water was back to being clear. He was scared of himself and the tricks his mind was playing on him. Why…? Why was both his waking self and slumbering self in a constant nightmare? 

“Whatever you think is best…” Kurapika forced himself to say in a strained voice.   
“Are you alright?”   
“Yes, just give me a moment… I’m almost done…” 

You went to the kitchen to start preparing the dish as Kurapika finished up his shower. He grabbed a towel hanging behind the door and tossed his hair in it first. Looking in the fogged mirror he still didn't recognize himself. He put his hand on the mirror and cleared it of the fog but that didn't help at all. The young man in the mirror was still a stranger to him. Kurapika didn't know who he was or who he wanted to be for some time now. His pursuit of the scarlet eyes and the killers of his clan had almost completely stripped away his sense of self. 

Kurapika exited the bathroom while you were folding over the omelet. You looked over your shoulder to say something but then stopped when you saw him cross the threshold of your bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He wasn't muscular like some other fighters were but he was toned and lean. You could tell he still trained his body to become strong just like you did. You only saw him for a split second but it was enough to make you blush a little. 

“Don’t be a pervert,” you scolded yourself and finished making his meal.

Kurapika changed into the clothes you left out for him and then came to the living room. Your clothes fit him well, in fact, they were even a little baggy on him. He sat down on the couch and you handed him the plate with a fork which he thanked you for. You smiled and sat down next to him on the couch waiting for the verdict on your cooking skills. It was likely that Kurapika wouldn’t share his opinion, even if he didn't like it, he would keep it to himself. He wasn’t picky. 

Kurapika tore a slice off the omelet with the fork and brought it to his mouth. The fork shook in front of his face causing the piece he cut to fall. He was still disturbed by his hallucination in the shower.

“You’re shaking… Are you cold?”   
“No... I—I just feel unwell…”   
“Are you sick?”   
“I don’t know…”   
“Do you want me to feed you?”   
“Please, don’t treat me like a child.” 

You immediately went quiet. Kurapika realized his tone overly aggressive and instantly felt guilty. All you've ever done is make him feel at home. This was now his safe haven after all. 

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it like that… You just— You’re… You’re so good to me…”   
“Yeah, well, that’s what friends do.”   
“I don’t know how to repay your kindness…”   
“You don't need to. Just eat.”

Kurapika nodded and resumed eating the meal you cooked him. As expected he didn't comment on the food and it seemed like he was rather hungry. In just a few minutes he almost finished the entire omelet. You hoped that was enough, you wouldn't mind making him another if he asked you to. A wet blonde piece of hair fell in front of Kurapika’s face as he finished it. You instinctively grabbed it and tucked it behind his ear. He felt a little flustered by such a simple yet caring gesture. In doing so you notice his ear was missing its usual ornament. 

“Hey, your earring is missing,” you said.  
“I took it off to shower and left it in the bathroom… Along with my contacts…”   
“Oh… You know, I think it’s really pretty.”  
“Thank you.”   
“Did you pierce your own ears?”   
“Yes, I did…”   
“I always wanted earrings… but I’m afraid to pierce them myself.”   
“Then you should just get it done professionally…”  
“I can’t.”   
“Why not?”

You pulled your hair back revealing your ear to Kurapika. The lobe was normal like anyone else’s but the top part of your ear was elongated and pointed. One unique feature of the Masneha women was their pointed ears which you usually kept covered by your hair. He was a bit surprised by your revelation but refrained from making any ignorant comments about your appearance. 

“Just like your eyes turning scarlet is an indication that you’re a Kurta, my ears are an indication that I’m from Masneha,” you explained. “Anyone who sees a physical abnormality like this will instantly call me a—”  
“a monster… I know.”   
“…Do you think I’m a monster, Kurapika?”   
“I think… You’re the loveliest person I’ve ever met. I don’t know what I would do if I heard anyone call you a monster…” 

Your heart swelled with a fondness for him with these affirmative words. There was no hiding the love you felt for him and the feeling was mutual. Still, you were hesitant about making any bold moves. Kurapika was a bit skittish when it came to certain things and he was also unpredictable. Kurapika was also hesitant to do anything to ruin your friendship or make you feel uncomfortable. 

You swallowed your fear and decided it was now or never. You leaned in and placed a quick chaste kiss on his lips. Pulling away you waited for a response from him. Kurapika’s eyes were wide with shock from your bold actions. You stayed silent for a few moments but received no verbal communication from him. You decided to speak up and say what you felt in your heart. 

“You’re lovely too…”   
“Unfortunately… That isn’t true," he frowned. "I’m scum.”   
“Don’t say that about yourself.”   
“You don’t need to flatter me… I’m really no good.”   
“If I thought that I would want nothing to do with you.”   
“Was that kiss… Out of pity for me?”   
“No, it wasn’t.”   
“Do you pity me?” Kurapika repeated.  
“Why are you asking me that?”   
“Kindness is one thing but… Pity is another,” he said firmly. “I won’t accept pity, not from you or anyone else.”   
“I kissed you because I like you, Kurapika,” you said sternly. “Make no mistake, the compassion I have for you comes from my own suffering. I was relieved to know someone understands how I feel. I don’t pity you.”  
“…”   
“I don’t know if you like me… But— Forget that happened. Please, get some rest.” 

You fled to your bedroom feeling as if you just set a torch to your friendship. You were worried you scared him away being too straight forward. Meanwhile, Kurapika believed he was the one who destroyed your friendship. He felt like a fool misinterpreting your actions and making wild accusations. You liked him and he couldn't understand why. He didn't believe he had very much to offer nor was he trying to impress you. You liked who he was. You related to him. 

Words alone would not suffice. He needed to show you he felt the same or at the very least thank you for everything you've done for him. The next day Kurapika set out to give you the one thing you wanted that he could obtain. Walking through a street market he glanced at the various vendors. A pair of gem drop earrings caught his eye and he approached the vendor. The vendor tried to dazzle him with his sales pitch but Kurapika cut him off.

“How much?”   
“Only two million Jenny.”   
“That’s outrageous.”   
“What do you expect?” the vendor said. “It’s real gold and these are real rubies.”   
“and that’s a lie.”  
“Those are fake,” Kurapika heard a familiar dry voice say. Turning around he saw Hotta looking down at him with the same apathy he always did.   
“I know that.”   
“This vendor is a crook.”   
“I know that too…”  
“Then why are you wasting your time with him?” 

Kurapika knitted his brow and walked away, a little irritated by Hotta’s condensing tone. The middle aged man followed him walking at his side with his hands in his pockets. Regaining his composure Kurapika began to speak again. 

“Why are you here?” he questioned Hotta. “Are you following me?”   
“I was meeting with a source.”   
“You found another buyer?”   
“No, not yet. This is the process… You gotta go through a lot of people before you get what you need.”   
“I know what gathering information entails.”   
“Yes, you know everything,” Hotta said sarcastically.  
“Tch.” 

Kurapika half clenched his fists and kept walking. Something about Hotta's sardonic and patronizing attitude towards him really got under his skin. 

“So, you’re buying jewelry, huh?” Hotta asked casually.   
“It shouldn't matter to you what I buy.” 

Hotta walked ahead and stopped in his tracks walking forcing Kurapika to stop as well. Hotta gave him a stern once over and Kurapika put one hand over his right eye to protect himself from his ability.

“I’m not gonna use it…”   
“Well, I don’t know that, do I?” Kurapika snapped back. “You said it yourself, I won’t know when you use your ability. I have to be careful around you.”   
“I already saw your sins, what else is there to hide? Is there something you don't want me to know?” 

Kurapika didn't respond to Hotta’s question and kept his hand firmly over his eye. He was also prepared to fight if needed. Hotta sighed and rubbed the back of his neck while looking to the side. 

“There’s an older couple who owns a small jewelry shop down the street to the left. Everything is handmade. The husband makes the metal and she makes the jewelry. They’re good people with reasonable prices.”   
“Why are you telling me this?”   
“She likes blue,” Hotta said turning away from Kurapika. “It reminds her of the ocean.” 

With that Hotta walked away and disappeared into the crowd. Like a skilled assassin, he blended in with the others. Hotta was referring to you but Kurapika could not fathom why he suddenly changed his tune. He wasn't sure what Hotta thought of him but once again he helped him when he didn't even ask for his assistance.


	6. A Precious Gem

Kurapika found the shop Hotta was talking about and was helped by the nice couple. He purchased sapphire studded earrings for you. Even with the discount that the couple gave him it was pricy. Sapphire was one of the four precious gemstones along with ruby, emerald, and diamond. All of these gemstones were highly sought after for their color and rarity. Some prized the blood red blaze of the ruby but others preferred the serene deep blue of the Sapphire. It was a color that suited you and so Kurapika didn't pay much mind to the price. 

Hotta gave you the night off and you were thankful for it, although you didn't forget about him lying. Still, a night alone might be just what you needed. Your last encounter with Kurapika left you feeling awkward about your friendship with him. You admitted you liked him and kissed him which was a big deal. Unfortunately, he misinterpreted it as a pity kiss. Perhaps you were pushing too hard, trying to close the lines of friendship too quickly. You expected Kurapika to avoid you now but to your surprise, he called. He asked if it was a good time to come by and you informed him you weren't working tonight. 

Kurapika showed up at your apartment towards the evening and you made dinner in advance. It wasn't supposed to be a romantic dinner but it sure felt like one. Surprisingly, it wasn't as awkward as you thought it would be. Kurapika was polite yet aloof as he always was until he cleared his throat and said he had something to give you. He was serious about it when he reached into his pocket and retrieved a small box. Handing it to you across the table you opened it and saw the bright blue sapphire studs. It was so unexpected that you didn't know what to say at first. 

“I um, I thought you would like this…”  
“You— I— How much did this cost?”  
“It doesn't matter.”  
“I’ll pay you half.”  
“It’s a gift,” Kurapika insisted. “You said you always wanted earrings… And I suppose this is my way of saying thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I don’t deserve your kindness…”  
“Kurapika, don't be so hard on yourself…”  
“Do you accept this gift? I suppose I could sell them if you say—”  
“They’re beautiful… Thank you so much,” you smiled holding the gift against your chest. “Now I just need you to pierce my ears.”  
“Right, I’ll need alcohol and a needle, as well as some ice.”  
“Alcohol is in the bathroom, there's a needle in the sewing kit, and the ice is in the freezer. I’ll get everything for you.”  
“I appreciate that.” 

You gathered the necessary materials for Kurapika and then you patiently sat on the couch waiting for him to make the preparations. He sterilized everything and heated the needle with a flame from the stove. The first thing he did was tuck your hair behind your ear and applied the ice to numb it. 

“This is to minimize the pain,” he explained.  
“Now I’m getting nervous…”  
“There is nothing to be afraid of. It’s just a little pinch.” 

Kurapika was soothing with his words and his soft voice that accompanied them. He thought you were comforting to be around but he was just as calming. When he wasn't angry he was a real sweetheart. You liked this side of him quite a bit. He was very caring and considerate. Most people wouldn’t get to see this side of him, Hotta certainly wouldn't see the sweet side Kurapika had. You had the luxury of seeing it. 

“Are you ready?”  
“Um… I think so.” 

Kurapika wiped your ear with alcohol and drove the needle through your ear. He replaced the needle with one of the sapphire earrings. He repeated the process with your other ear and soon both your ears had the blue studs on them. Kurapika put the needle he used between a cloth to wipe away a small bit of blood. You hardly felt a thing, so much for being nervous. 

“I’m finished,” Kurapika informed you.  
“Oh, that was it? That didn't hurt at all.”  
“See,” he smiled slightly. “I told you that you would be fine.”  
“Well, I thought it was going to be much worse,” you smiled back. “Or maybe it hurt less because you did it…”  
“Well, I doubt that…” Kurapika said bashfully.  
“How does it look?” 

You kept your hair tucked behind your ears showing off your new earrings. The pointed part of your ears were also exposed. You resembled an elf or a nymph, some fantasy creature, but you were real. You were human just like him. You both had traits unique to your kind only but that wasn't what made you special to Kurapika. You were special because you were you. 

“It looks… Fine.”  
“It’s a shame I can’t show them off…” you complained.  
“If you don’t mind me asking… Why pierce your ears if you’re just going to hide them?” 

It was a valid question and you gave it some thought before responding with a smile. You had a sweet smile, just like him. 

“Because it’s for me and nobody else.”  
“I see… In that case, what I think doesn't matter.” “But I at least want your opinion. This will be our little secret,” you winked at Kurapika.  
“Um… Well… I think it suits you…”  
“That’s all?”  
“It appears someone is fishing for compliments,” Kurapika lightly teased you.  
“Don’t I deserve them?” you teased him back.  
“You certainly do,” Kurapika said and then returned to his serious tone. “So, do you forgive me for my behavior?”  
“Of course.”  
“I really shouldn't have reacted that way… Also… A bit unrelated… but I feel it’s necessary to inform you that was actually my first kiss…”  
“I figured that… But technically that wasn't a real kiss…”  
“…And what is a real kiss?” Kurapika asked curiously.  
“Do you want to find out?” 

Kurapika blushed a crimson color that matched his ruby earring and considered it. After a few moments of silence, he gave you a silent nod. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him towards you on the couch. Once your noses touched you stopped and waited for him to either commit to the kiss or change his mind. He made his decision pressing his lips against yours in a firm yet delicate manner. You began to kiss him back and unlike the first time, your tongue made an appearance. As expected Kurapika tensed up from the initial surprise and then relaxed. 

All five of his senses were set off by the passionate kiss. He was acutely aware of the scent of springtime coming from your hair and a nearly inaudible muffled moan. The feel good chemicals which he had a deficiency in lately were released. It felt wonderful but he had to decide whether to take this further or put out the scorching fire that was rising between both you. 

His is sexuality was one of the many things he ignored because of his goal. He had read a novel or two that depicted such intimacy between two people but he never experienced it for himself. His happiness, his needs, and his sexual pleasure were all trivial to him. Now at the age of nineteen Kurapika had an opportunity to experience this aspect of life yet he pulled away from you. 

“I-I think I get the concept… Thank you for the demonstration…”  
“Um… Right.” 

A bit of the awkwardness from before returned and you got up from the couch. You asked Kurapika if he was going to stay over again and he said he would. You felt bad making him sleep on the couch again and almost invited him into your bedroom. You knew for a fact that would definitely scare him off and decided against it. Kurapika peacefully sat on the couch reading some books you had while you did what you had to do before going to bed. While in the bathroom you admired your new earrings and the redness of your ears. Kurapika informed you they would be red for a little bit and to apply ice when needed. He really was a very thoughtful person and you were enamored with him. 

You went to bed as Kurapika slept in the living room once again with the faint sound of your small hummingbird to keep him company. Other birds came to the windowsill as well and he didn't pay them much mind. In the middle of the night, Kurapika heard a sharp cry from your bedroom which woke him up instantly. 

He didn't think about conjuring his chains, they appeared on instinct as he threw your bedroom door open. He was ready to fight no matter what waited for him in your bedroom. Instead, he found you alone in your bed with your hands over your eyes shivering in a similar way he had before. Kurapika’s adrenaline subsided upon realizing that you had a nightmare. 

It was strange seeing you this way since you were always so strong and reassuring with him. He never saw you battle your own demons. Kurapika’s heart ached to see you like this and called out your name. 

“Kurapika… I’m alright, please go back to bed…” you said in a strained voice. 

You didn't look at him and you didn't remove your hands from your face. You stayed hidden like a frightened child. Kurapika approached the bed in silence and sat on the edge of it gently extending a hand to you. The chains he conjured were now gone as he pulled a hand away from your face.

“Do you want me to sleep here?”  
“No— I— Only if you don’t mind… If it isn't uncomfortable for you…”  
“I believe we’re already well aquatinted… There’s no need to worry about that.” 

Kurapika shifted himself so he was lying beside you as you made room for him. He silently held you close to him and didn't ask a single question. He didn't need to. Kurapika had experienced this enough times to know the terror you were feeling but your memories were different from his. He would never know exactly what sort of monsters haunted you.

“No one is going to hurt you… I won't allow it.”  
“Thank you…” 

Kurapika kept his arms wrapped around you, not tight enough to make you feel suffocated but not loose enough to make you feel alone. The warmth from his body brought you comfort in the same way yours did for him. Your breathing slowed as did your heartbeat. In the silence of the dark bedroom, you thought about your nightmare and your past experiences. 

“…Did I ever tell you how much I sold for?” you asked Kurapika rhetorically.  
“You don't need to.”  
“Forty million Jenny and only because I was an exotic species… Most people are sold for far less.”  
“That’s… That’s horrible…”  
“It is… But I hope you don’t pity me either…”  
“I don’t,” Kurapika answered firmly. “and I want you to know that no one can put a price tag on a human being… You are priceless.” 

Kurapika didn't think there were people who existed that were worse than the flesh collectors or the Phantom Troupe but he was sorely mistaken. It was true that everyone from the moment they're born becomes a commodity. It was wrong. It sickened him and angered him but now wasn't the time to get worked up. Kurapika managed to soothe you again with his words. He reminded you that you were a person, a human. 

“I feel like a human being… When I’m with you,” you whispered.  
“So do I…”

You shifted your body to look at him and he loosened his hold enough to let you do so. You silently looked into his eyes as he looked into yours. 

“Do want to stay with me, Kurapika?”  
“…You really wouldn't mind me living here?”  
“I would prefer if you did…”  
“Then… I will.”

His answer was a firm commitment, unlike his usual enigmatic responses. Kurapika kissed you softly and unlike earlier he didn't blush or worm away from your touch. Nothing was arousing about this kiss, he was assuring you he would stay by your side. With one arm he pulled the covers over you both increasing the warmth between you two. You felt safe in his arms and vice versa.

Now, the trouble would be getting the spare key from Hotta. When you first got your own apartment you made him a spare key just in case you ever needed him. It was safest with him but now you had someone special in your life, someone to share your apartment with. Hotta had to deal with it whether he liked it or not. The next night you came to the bar as usual and decided to forget about confronting Hotta about his lie. At this point, it was irrelevant. Hotta didn't say very much to you and the atmosphere already felt tense. You approached the countertop cautiously and brought up the subject casually. 

“Hey, um… I was wondering… Do you still have the spare key to my apartment?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Can I have it?”  
“Why?”  
“I changed the locks,” you lied. “So it’s useless now.”  
“If you’re living together the least you can do is be honest with me.”  
“I—You—”

Hotta sighed and fished your spare key out of his pocket and dangled it in front of you over the countertop. When you attempted to grab it he pulled it away from you making you pout.

“Did you ask him how he got stronger?”  
“I told you, it doesn't matter…”  
“It does,” Hotta strongly insisted. “He doesn't care about his own life so why should I believe he cares about yours?” 

Now, you were angry. You remembered how gentle Kurapika was with you when piercing your ears and how he comforted you during your nightmare. He was a kind and sweet soul. Narrowing your eyes you corrected Hotta’s impression of Kurapika. 

“He cares about me.”  
“He only cares about avenging his clan, that’s it.”  
“You’re wrong.”  
“Just because he bought you some cheap jewelry—”  
“Hotta,” you said sternly. “Stay out of it.”

You didn't know how he knew what he bought you but right now you didn't care. The crack in your relationship with Hotta was now an undeniable rift. You didn't want to fight with Hotta, not after everything he had done for you, but he was wrong about him. He had no business getting involved in your relationship with Kurapika or anyone else for that matter. 

“I know ‘love’ is one of those things that just happens… But be smart about it,” Hotta said tapping his head with his finger. “Is this someone you really want to put everything on the line for? Is he worth it?”  
“Yes.”  
“You barely know him…”  
“I know enough.”  
“Did you know he’s dying?”  
“…What do you mean he’s dying?”  
“Every time he uses his scarlet eyes he shortens his lifespan. They aren't just for show.”  
“…”  
“So I’m gonna ask you again, is he worth it?” 

The news was shocking but it didn't sway you from pursuing a relationship with Kurapika. He did what he had to do and that was the truth of it. Who were you to judge him for making sacrifices? Besides, what if Hotta was lying again? What if he was just determined to make sure you had no interest in Kurapika? Whatever the truth was, you held your hand out to Hotta with a determined look in your eye. 

“Give me the key, Hotta. I won’t ask again.”  
“Fine… If that’s the way you want it…” 

Hotta tossed the key at you and turned away with his hands in his pockets. You caught the key and saw his reflection in the bottles above the bar. He was upset and tried his hardest not to show it. 

“Don’t come crying to me when this falls apart… I warned you.”  
“I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”  
“And yet you’re still naive… and stupid.”

There was nothing for you to say, Hotta wasn't going to change his opinion and neither were you. Both of you were at a standstill and with that, you left the bar, at least for now. You both needed some time apart to cool off. Some of the patrons were confused overhearing the dispute and Hotta warned them to mind their own business or get out. It was hard for him to accept the fact there was nothing he could do in this situation but sit back and watch.


	7. Vows and Commitments

Living with Kurapika was lonelier than you thought it would be. He was out most of the time and was vague about the details on where he was going. Sometimes, you thought he forgot you agreed to help him find the scarlet eyes. The closer you became the less help he wanted from you. As for Hotta, he kept his promise and continued to look for buyers whenever he had a moment to spare. A week ago you asked for your spare key to give to Kurapika and since then things haven't been the same between you two. 

Just a few days later Hotta told you that you didn't need to help him with the bar anymore. You insisted that you remain working with him and… He fired you. That’s just not fair! Well, you didn't really get a paycheck anyway… But still. You demanded answers from him. 

“Go live your life,” Hotta told you in response and you thought he was being spiteful. You figured it probably had something to do with Kurapika and this was his way of punishing you, that had to be it. 

You were still bothered about what Hotta told you about Kurapika slowly dying and you hadn't asked him about it yet. Maybe it was best if you didn't press him on it at all. It was his life after all but something about that, his secrecy, and his recklessness bothered you. Unfortunately, that was another thing you two had in common, there was a time you were just as reckless and impatient. After your first attempt at the Hunter Exam, you almost gave up. Returning from the exam at the age of thirteen you dropped to your bloodied knees in front of Hotta. Tears welled up as you looked down not being able to bear the disappointment of your teacher. 

“I’m not strong enough!” you shouted.  
“You’re alive, aren’t you? Not everyone is that lucky, you know.”  
“Yeah but—“  
“Take it again.”  
“But—”  
“Take it again. Take it until you pass or you die.”  
“I don’t want to die…”  
“Then don’t die.” 

You looked up at him wiping your eyes as your nose dripped and you sniffled. Hotta didn't react to your sniveling and kept his seemingly stone cold expression. 

“You’re not… Disappointed in me?”  
“No.” 

Hotta crouched down and wiped your nose with his sleeve. Still not changing his expression he patted your head. 

“Now stand. We’re not finished.”  
“O-Okay.”

You continued to train until the next exam, the 280th Hunter Exam, which you passed at the age of fourteen. After that Hotta introduced you to Nen and you developed your Hatsu. The birds responded to your calls, clicks, and whistles attacking and reacting as you instructed them to. Still, it never felt like enough. You wished you had more brute strength like an Enhancer did. You wondered if there was a way to make your Nen ability even more powerful. During one of Hotta’s lessons on Nen, you raised your hand eager to ask your question. 

“You don’t need to raise your hand,” Hotta groaned. “This isn't a school…”  
“Oh…”  
“Just ask your question…”  
“Hotta, is there a way to make your Nen stronger?”  
“…”  
“I wanna make it stronger, is there a way to do that?”  
“You do it by training and working hard.”  
“Yeah I know that but is there a way to do it faster?”  
“It’s called a limitation and if you do that… You can go find yourself another teacher. It’s cheap and lazy. I have no respect for anyone who gets greedy with their abilities. You wanna be stronger? Give it time.” 

Putting your hand down you nodded, taking Hotta’s warning seriously. You later discovered vows and limitations require a price be paid. The harsher the limitation and consequence the stronger the ability is strengthened. You mused on these memories in bed while attempting to read a book and gave up somewhere in the middle of the page. Coming back to reality you checked the clock and saw it was past midnight and Kurapika wasn't home. You weren't tired either. You simply didn't know what to do, you felt restless. 

You attempted to read your book again with various thoughts still haunting you. What exactly did Kurapika do to himself to gain power? And where did you and Hotta stand nowadays? The thoughts persisted until you heard the door open with the twist of the lock and then shut. Kurapika was finally home. He came into the bedroom shrugging off his suit jacket and tossing it onto a chair. He sat at the edge of the bed and began to remove his shoes. 

“Hey, how do you feel?” you asked curiously.  
“Fine, a little tired but today was mostly uneventful…”  
“Anything on the scarlet eyes?”  
“No.”  
“Did Hotta find another buyer?”  
“No.”  
“Do you want me to see what I can do—”  
“Sorry,” Kurapika cut you off. “But I would prefer if you didn't get involved with this anymore… I appreciate your help… But I don’t want to be the one responsible for anything happening to you.”  
“I can make my own decisions…”  
“I know but… You’re special to me now so… Please don’t.” 

Hearing him call you special made your heart smile but at the same time, he was pushing you aside. For good reason, of course. He cared about you and you cared about him. If there was a time to ask him what you’ve been thinking of for days, now was the best time to do so. You came behind him with your knees digging into the mattress and hugged him. You swayed with him affectionately showing that you appreciated him worrying about you. Then you stilled and pulled away. 

“Hey, Kurapika…”  
“Yes?”  
“Is it true… That you’re dying?”  
“Who told you that?”  
“I think you know who…”  
“Hotta…” Kurapika sighed and look straight ahead. “Well, I suppose he isn't entirely wrong… But it’s more complicated than that.”  
“Every time your eyes turn scarlet you take years off your life?” you asked.  
“Not years… Though I’m sure if I use it often enough it would amount to that…”  
“I don’t understand.” 

Kurapika turned around and adjusted himself so he was sitting directly in front of you on the bed. You sat on your knees with your legs folded under you. 

“Naturally, I’m a Conjurer but when my eyes turn scarlet I become a Specialist that can use all other types of Nen at full capacity.”  
“That’s… That’s incredible.”  
“But every second I spend using that reduces my lifespan by one hour. In addition to that… There is a chain wrapped around my heart…”  
“You took a vow…”  
“I did. I imposed a limitation that allows me to create a powerful chain but I can only use it on members of the Phantom Troupe, the gang that massacred my people… The penalty for breaking this condition is death.”  
“Do you regret doing that to yourself?”  
“Not at all… I’m prepared to give my life for the sake of my brethren.”  
“I admire your determination but there has to be a better way…”  
“This is the path I've chosen.”  
“I don’t want you to die, Kurapika.”  
“I… My life is irrelevant…” 

You took his right hand in yours and squeezed lightly. You looked at him almost pleadingly. 

“That isn't true. You want to live, don't you?”  
“Well… That depends on a lot of things…”  
“What do you want more than anything?”  
“I want to avenge the Kurta.”  
“What else do you want?”  
“I want to retrieve the scarlet eyes.”  
“And?”  
“And? And make sure the Phantom Troupe pays for their sins.”  
“That’s all?”  
“Yes. That’s all I want.”  
“Your dreams should go beyond just revenge. You should aspire for more.”  
“What else is there to aspire for?”  
“Do you want to rebuild your clan?”  
“I—What do you mean..?”  
“You’re the sole survivor of the Kurta… With you alive, they have a chance for rebirth. Have you ever thought about restoring the clan with your own blood?”  
“No, nor would I ever consider it.”  
“Why?”  
“Because… The same thing is bound to happen,” Kurapika said pulling his hand away. “We lived in secrecy, in fear, all because our eyes turn scarlet. I will not bestow that on anyone else… I will never have a child of my own. The scarlet eyes will die with me.”  
“I understand your reasoning… But—”  
“I’ve made my decision, besides, I don’t have someone who can help me repopulate the Kurta.”  
“You do.”  
“E-excuse me..?”  
“Kurapika, I have been thinking about this a lot. We both lost our homes and our people but that doesn't mean we can’t start over. We can build a new clan of both Kurta and Masneha peoples. It will be better, with the values we believe in.”  
“I appreciate the sentiment… But I’m sorry, I can’t do that… And if you really want to repopulate your tribe you should do so with someone else.”  
“No, it has to be you.”  
“Why me?”  
“Because I trust you,” you said coming closer putting both hands on his shoulders. “And I only want to share my body and my spirit with you.” 

Kurapika’s cheeks flushed a bright pink color as he coughed and then looked to the side for a moment. Once he regained his composure he looked back at you. You were close enough to kiss and he had a feeling you were getting ready to do just that. 

“I um… I am flattered… But my answer remains the same…”  
“I know… I understand that…”  
“And yet you're still trying to seduce me…”  
“We don't have to have children but I still want you…”  
“I-I see…”  
“Do you want me?” 

Kurapika answered you with a soft kiss on the lips and you kissed him back. As the kiss became increasingly more passionate he slowly pushed you down. It wasn't just about him, your emotions were in the mix as well. It was obvious you were in love with him. Deeply and hopelessly in love with someone with no regard for their own life. You didn't want him to give up on his goal but you wanted him to live. There was more to life than just revenge. You wanted him to experience that for himself. 

Kurapika slowly helped you out of your clothes and paused after removing each piece of clothing to make sure you were comfortable. Given your history, he didn't want to make you feel violated in any way. He wanted to make you happy but his happiness meant a lot to you as well. You yearned to see him smile, laugh, and enjoy the intimacy between the two of you. In between removing your clothes you placed quick kisses on his lips and neck making the process more difficult for him. Eventually, Kurapika managed to free you of your clothing leaving you in just your undergarments. He looked at you both wide eyed and bewildered. 

“I’m not quite sure what you want me to do here…” Kurapika admitted nervously.  
“Touch me.”  
“R-Right…” 

You helped him by guiding his hands up and down your body until he got the idea and you let go. The same hands that could kill and destroy now caressed your skin with the gentlest touch. It wasn’t until he brought his right hand lower you let a moan escape. Kurapika would be lying to himself if he said it didn't excite him. He struggled to deny himself of any enjoyment. It was becoming clear it would be impossible to do so. Right now, nothing else mattered except for you and your pleasure. 

“T-That’s good…” you said breathlessly.

Kurapika reached the breaking point of his restraint and your words delivered the final blow. He finally gave in to his desires pleasuring you at a faster pace and kissing you feverishly. You were happy to see him in the moment with you rather than elsewhere. Finally, it was enough to make you reach an orgasm. Your very first of the night. 

Without holding himself back he was passionate, dedicated, and surprisingly rough. During intercourse, you had to ask him to calm down because it was beginning to hurt. He apologized frequently for doing too much or what he thought was not enough. He was incredibly inexperienced if that wasn't already obvious. It made no difference to you. He was simply figuring it out for himself and made sure to remember what you liked and disliked from him. 

Soon enough Kurapika brought you to your second orgasm and right before reaching his limit he had to stop. He did everything in his power to stick to his resolution about never having an offspring. He couldn't risk it. Even now, he denied himself satisfaction. There was something empty and sad about the way your lovemaking came to an end. It was almost unfair to feel so satisfied when you were certain he was not. You offered to let him finish elsewhere on your body but he said no. 

Kurapika disappeared for some time in the bathroom. You knew the first thing he would ask is if he hurt you, the second thing he would ask is if his performance was good enough. Eventually, he returned, put his underwear back on, and climbed back into bed with you. You kissed his cheek as he leaned his head against your shoulder. 

“Did I hurt you?” he asked.  
“Well, only a little— But it’s fine,” you said aloud. “I knew he was going to ask that,” you thought to yourself.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“You don’t need to keep apologizing…”  
“And was that alright?”  
“Yes, Kurapika,” you said aloud. “I knew he was going to ask that too,” you thought to yourself.  
“I didn't mean to leave you so abruptly— I needed—“  
“Next time, just use a condom,” you teased. “That means you’ll have to buy some.”  
“I— Next time?”  
“Um… You don’t want to do this again?”  
“I do… But I really am busy…”  
“I know, when you have time.”  
“Alright…”

You pulled Kurapika into a loving embrace, nuzzling his neck and giving him light kisses. He received your affection without much of a reaction. It seemed as if he was still processing what just occurred. Putting a hand on the side of his face you looked into his eyes. 

“I love you, Kurapika.”  
“I—I… Love… you too…” 

Kurapika felt a knot in his stomach as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth. It wasn't a lie, he did have love for you, but he couldn't help but feel he said it too soon. Perhaps he shouldn't have said it at all. You were so happy to hear him say that and snuggled up next to him. It didn't take long for you to fall asleep and followed suit. Kurapika was fast asleep beside you as he held you against his chest. It rose and fell softly with his breathing. 

In the dream world, Kurapika was not with you. Instead, he was with his old friend Pairo. They were in a forest sitting together on tree stumps surrounded by trees and a beautiful glow of the forest lights. Kurapika was wearing his traditional tabard and while Pairo wore his maroon tabard. They were looking up at the sparkling lights of the forest and discussing you.

“What’s she like?” Pairo asked curiously.  
“She’s… Wonderful. Kind and strong… A bit feisty at times… I have no doubt you would like her very much.”  
“Are you going to marry her?”  
“It’s… A little soon to be thinking about something like that, don’t you think?”  
“But do you want to?”  
“I…I’m unsure if I would make a very good husband but it has crossed my mind…”  
“So, you’re ready to settle down?”  
“Well not exactly—”  
“It’s okay if you forget about us, Kurapika.”

Suddenly, the light hearted atmosphere of the dream shifted into something sinister. When Kurapika looked back at Pairo his eyes were now missing as he sat on the tree stump next to him. 

“What… What are you saying, Pairo? I could never forget about any of you.”  
“It’s alright… Really… As long as you’re happy.”  
“Pairo, don’t ever say that! I— I would never put myself before you, my mother, my father, my brethren…”  
“But you did.” 

Kurapika looked at Pairo in horror as the bright glow of the forest disappeared and turned dark. His guilt manifested itself into various eyeless members of his clan surrounding him in the forest, including his mother and father. 

“Please… Please forgive me! I allowed myself to get distracted— I don’t know what I was thinking…”  
“You were thinking about yourself, that’s alright.”  
“No! It’s unforgivable… I… I was selfish. Everyone, you will be avenged. I promise…”  
“When?”  
“I—”  
“When, Kurapika?” 

Kurapika awoke in a panic with his hand clenching his heart and breathing heavily. His quick movement and heavy breathing woke you and you rubbed your eyes. 

“Kurapika? Is everything alright?” 

Kurapika bit his lip and internally cursed himself for falling so deep into this relationship. He had to make a choice and it would be the hardest choice of his life.


	8. End of a Daydream

Kurapika got up and began to get dressed while keeping his back to you. Such a drastic change in behavior was a serious cause for concern. Keeping the sheets pressed against your chest, you reached a hand out to grab his arm. Kurapika pulled away before you could touch him and began to button his shirt. 

“I have to go…”  
“What?”  
“I have to go now.”  
“Wait a second—“  
“I can’t… I’ve already wasted far too much time.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“This… This can’t go on. I’m sorry but I’m not capable of having a relationship with you or anyone…” 

Kurapika buttoned the rest of his shirt and threw his suit jacket over his shoulder. You began to put your own clothes on as he stepped into his shoes. You threw a shirt on but stayed in your underwear. There was no time to fuss with pants and you were thankful it was an oversized shirt. Before Kurapika could open the door you appeared in front of it, blocking him, just like your first encounter. You were fast. He looked to the side not being able to look you in the eye right now. 

“What happened?” you demanded.  
“What right do I have to feel pleasure..?”  
“Kurapika.”  
“I don’t deserve it. Not when there is so much left to do.”  
“You don’t deserve to be happy?”  
“I have one purpose.”  
“No, you don’t.”  
“Yes, I do.” 

You turned Kurapika’s head forcing him to look at you. This was your last attempt at getting through to him. You were past the point of being polite about it. 

“Kurapika! You are not alive just so you can avenge your clan and die!" you yelled hoping to change his mind. "You are alive because your parents gave you life! You are a person, a human being! You have wants and needs! You're unfair to yourself and everyone around you!”  
“Maybe so, but I won’t make them wait any longer…”

Kurapika pushed your arm away with his and freed himself from your grip. You didn't resist whatsoever, your arm practically went limp by his cold words. 

“I’m sorry, this is goodbye,” Kurapika whispered.  
“If you leave now… Don’t come back.”  
“That is probably for the best…” 

Kurapika reached into his pocket and retrieved the spare key and set it on the nearest shelf. That was the finishing blow for you. Kurapika tried to push you away multiple times before, however, that was earlier in your relationship. You thought finally, you were able to get through to him. You thought he finally let you into his heart only to be pushed out of it. No, this wasn't fair. You two came so far together. Your first relationship, his first kiss, and the first real sexual experience for both of you. It was all with Kurapika. 

“Get out,” you said in dark and stern tone that he was unfamiliar with hearing from you. He was caught off guard by the change of your voice and stayed in place. 

You made your point by swinging the door open for him. Kurapika got the message and walked through the door trying not to look back at what he was letting go of. You were the best thing to happen to him as of late. He believed he didn't deserve you. You deserved everything he thought he couldn't provide for you. A life, safety, happiness, and most of all a child. Kurapika still intended to let the scarlet eyes die with him but he could tell you wanted a family. You deserved to have that with someone else. 

The full extent of your anger showed itself when you slammed the door hard enough to crack the wood of the door and the wall. So, you were that strong… Outside when Kurapika looked up at the early morning sky the sight he saw frightened him. Birds, so many black birds circling the sky in a swarm. They were squawking, practically screeching, responding to your pain. Kurapika covered his ears not being able to stand the sound. He had to convince himself he was doing the right thing. No matter how much it hurt, this was the way things had to be. 

Meanwhile above Hotta’s bar in his apartment he heard the mass of birds and looked out the window. Most people were asleep or just waking up. Some people popped their heads out of their windows in both horror and confusion. Hotta knew right away what this meant. He sighed and shook his head. His intuition was stellar even without using his Nen ability. Hotta wished just this once to be wrong. Unfortunately, he saw this coming from a mile away. Being in Kurapika’s mind allowed him access to most things other people would have had to pry out of him. He knew he had a one track mind and that you were merely a temporary distraction, a daydream of some sort. 

A few days later the birds in the area calmed down and dispersed. The high pitched screeching and unusual gathering made the newspaper. Though you manipulated the birds there were times your emotions were so strong they acted on their own. This was one of those times. You thought about calling Hotta asking him for something to do but you couldn’t. You didn't want to admit he was right about Kurapika. 

To your surprise, there was a knock on your door towards the evening. You didn't want to see anyone right now, especially Hotta. You stayed quiet but the knocking persisted. 

“No one is home,” you said.  
“Yeah, sure sounds like,” a familiar dry and sarcastic voice retorted. “Quit moping and open the door.”  
“Just go away.”  
“Wow, looks like your rebellious teenage phase came a little late…”

You were annoyed and so you swung the door open and glared at Hotta. Your eyes were red and puffy. Your hair was up and you were still wearing the blue sapphire earrings Kurapika gave you. At first, you wanted to get rid of them but then you remembered how he comforted you that day. You remembered how sweet and kind he could be when he wasn't racked with anger or guilt. You couldn't get rid of something that special. Hotta took once glance at you and sighed. 

“Don’t cry, he isn't worth it.”  
“Why are you here?”  
“Because you’re too proud to come to me.”  
“You told me not to come crying to you. That’s what you said...”  
“Yeah… I know.” 

Hotta was carrying a pizza box and held it out to you as if asking to come in. He wasn't good at apologizes. He rarely said sorry but when he did, he meant it. Although he wasn't responsible for your heartbreak he felt inclined to do something to ease your pain.

“It’s extra cheese,” Hotta said with no enthusiasm.  
“…What if I just took the pizza and then kicked you out?”  
“You could, but you know you can’t finish it all by yourself.”  
“Hmph.”

This was an apology after all, his version of one. There was a lot that was left unsaid and you needed answers before you let him in. 

“Why did you fire me?” you asked.  
“You liked getting hit on every night and pretending to be some ditz just to get info?”  
“I…I’m a hunter and your apprentice! We do what we have to do to accomplish our job. You had no right to fire me.”  
“Since day one you’ve always followed my lead… Maybe it’s time you just do your own thing.”  
“…”  
“So when I said ‘go live your life,’ I meant it.” 

Like a child running to their parent, you hugged Hotta and he held the pizza box above your head. He groaned a little annoyed with your hug and hit the top of your head with the box. 

“Hey, you’re too old for this shit, knock it off.”  
“I’m sorry,” you said tearing up again. “I pushed you away…”  
“Stop crying, that’s not how we operate,” Hotta barked out. “It doesn't matter who did what, just eat your damn pizza already…” 

You wiped your eyes just like you did as a little girl and smiled sadly. He gave you a slight smile and was relieved to see you were alright. Taking the pizza box from him you put on the coffee table as Hotta let himself in. You both sat on the floor as you began to eat the pizza in silence. The greasy goodness did make you a little happier. You almost forgot about your heartbreak until Hotta brought it up again. Casually finishing his slice and wiping his mouth he glanced at you from across the short table. 

“Do you want me to kill him?” Hotta asked without any hesitation.  
“I hope that was a joke…”  
“I wasn't joking.”  
“Hotta, don’t you dare,” you warned him. “I’d never forgive you.”  
“Fine, just checking…”

You continued your dinner in silence. You knew Hotta could be a loose cannon and you worried about what he would do to Kurapika.

“You still love him, don’t you?” Hotta asked abruptly.  
“Yeah…”  
“You made a mistake.”  
“He wasn't a mistake.”  
“You still believe in him? Even after all that shit?”  
“He’s not a bad person, Hotta.”  
“I never said he was, I just know he’s not capable of loving anyone. He can’t move forward because he’s stuck in the past…”  
“I’m still worried about him.”  
“He’s not your problem anymore.”  
“I’m not like you, Hotta. I can't just pick and choose who I care about. He will always be in my thoughts.”  
“…”  
“So I want you to keep helping him… It doesn't matter if we’re together or not. Help him accomplish his goal.”  
“He’s not—“  
“Please, Hotta.” 

Even after getting your heart broken, you wished him the best. Hotta saw it in your eyes and he couldn't say no. He did give Kurapika his word that he would help with the scarlet eyes. He couldn't change his mind now just because the circumstances have changed. 

“I’ll see what I can do…” Hotta said with a sigh and you were grateful to hear him say that. 

The following day Hotta called Kurapika asking him to meet him at the bar and that he had some information to give him. He approached the door and noted the closed sign on it. Kurapika entered the bar which was completely emptied and quiet. It was strange to be in the bar without the usual rowdy customers. Hotta was behind the bar as he always was and Kurapika approached him. His intuition already told him that something wasn't right. 

“You found another buyer?” Kurapika asked.  
“No, I didn’t.”  
“Then why am I here?”  
“Would you have come otherwise?”  
“Is this a trap?"  
"No."  
“I have no time for games. I’m leaving.” 

Kurapika turned back the way he came and began to walk away. Hotta stayed behind the bar not surprised by Kurapika’s reaction. 

“Do you want to learn from me, Kurapika?”  
“Sorry, but I already have a Nen teacher.”  
“Who said anything about Nen? Do you want me to teach you how to live in this world?” 

Kurapika stopped walking and looked over his shoulder. His gaze was icy and he was unamused. 

“I don’t need you to teach me anything…”  
“Then let’s take a walk.”  
“A walk?”  
“A walk inside your mind.”  
“I don’t want you inside my mind anymore,” Kurapika said sternly. “I told you last time to stay out of it.”  
“Do you care about her?”  
“…”  
“If you care about her, you’ll let me into your mind once more.”  
“Why? What do you intend to do?”  
“I intend to tame the beast inside you.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“If I concentrate while mediating I can purify your mind by stealing thoughts or memories. This is called Cerebral Thief. Whatever I take will cease to exist in your mind, instead, it will exist in mine. I’ll lose one of my own memories if I do this. The mind can only retrain so much...”  
“You… Want to steal my memories?”  
“I want to give you peace of mind so you can move on with your life.”  
“I won’t allow it!”  
“Why?”  
“Because… They are MY memories… My burden to bare! How dare you try to take that from me!”  
“That’s a valid answer… But If I didn't know any better… I’d say you want to keep torturing yourself.”  
“…”  
“Tell me I’m wrong, Kurapika.”  
“I need this rage inside of me.”  
“That’s what I was afraid you would say…”  
“I need my rage to burn hot for the sake of my brethren," Kurapika put a hand over his heart and then made a fist. "The day my rage dies out… Is the day I will take my last breath.”  
“You’re an Idiot…You’ve accomplished nothing. You don’t need rage, you need resolution. You didn't even need to put a chain on your heart but you did because you’re impatient. If you just waited and trained you would have earned the skill needed to vanquish your enemies. You would have retrieved the eyes. You would have accomplished your goal and you might have been happy.”  
“Why should I make my clan wait for their revenge!? Tell me why!?”  
“Because you’re going to die otherwise.”  
“I don’t care if I die.”  
“But she does and so do your other friends.”  
“…”  
“I thought you could be reasoned with, Kurapika. I’m disappointed…” Hotta complained while tightening his ponytail and rolling up his sleeves. “and now I’ll have to beat the beast out of you.”  
“Try me,” Kurapika warned in an intimidating voice. “I dare you.” 

Hotta left the space behind the bar and walked to the center of the room. He kicked a chair out of the way and got into a Crane Leg Stance. He beckoned Kurapika to him with his hand while maintaining his stance.

“No Nen, nothing fancy. Just use your fists and your head.”  
“I don’t want to fight you.”  
“Neither do I, but you’ve left me no choice. You’re out of control.”  
“…”  
“Do you even care that you broke her heart?”  
“Of course I care!”  
“Then show me you still have some honor left in you, or will you continue to disgrace the dead?” 

As if Hotta had flipped a switch Kurapika’s eyes turned scarlet under the contacts and he seemingly appeared in front of him to initiate the fight with the first strike. As if knowing where Kurapika was going to be Hotta avoided his attack and fluidly transitioned into an attack of his own. 

Hotta landed a blow to his stomach and Kurapika doubled over in pain. He looked up at his opponent not quite sure what to feel towards him. He didn't have hate for Hotta like he did for the spiders nor did he consider him a close friend. He was angry, and this was an opportunity to take his anger out on him, or perhaps that’s what Hotta expected him to do. Kurapika knew then and there that if he did not get his emotions under control, he would lose this fight.


	9. Lessons learned

Hotta looked down at Kurapika with his stony gaze and remembered what it felt like to be in the reverse position. Approximately 42 years ago he traveled to Shingen-ryu dojo in the mountains to challenge the grandmaster at the age of sixteen. He heard amazing stories about this particular master. His name was Isaac Netero and he was respected by many and envied by others. He was the most powerful Nen user in the world. Netero fought challengers at his dojo and fighters from around the world came to challenge him. 

None of them stood a chance but they all showed respect. At the time Hotta believed that unfortunately, not all men were created equal. Some were more gifted than others, more fortunate than others, and more talented than others. He wanted to see the man for himself. He entered the dojo with a short messy ponytail and baggy clothes. His eyes still lacked light, he was skinny and shorter than all the grown men among him. 

“My name is Hotta. I came to fight the dojo grandmaster.” 

The men in the dojo chuckled at Hotta’s statement but Netero did not. He saw the fire young man’s eyes and silently gestured him to come forward. 

“You seek a fight with me?”  
“Fighting and killing are all I know how to do.”  
“Is that so? Let’s see what you got then.” 

They bowed to each other but Netero didn't give Hotta a chance to attack first. He hit him hard in the gut and Hotta doubled over in pain while looking up at his opponent. His lesson had begun and Hotta took the beating with pride while trying to attack when he could. He never gave up until he felt he had reached his limit. The exchange lasted nearly an hour which was longer than the other martial artists expected. He changed his battle strategy numerous times trying to find a way to win. 

His strong will and strength of mind gave him the power to go on even when his body wanted to collapse. Netero could tell head was clear of all thought, he was in the moment, giving it his all. The boy earned his respect. Hotta fell to his knees bloodied and defeated but he did not hang his head in shame. Instead, he was still watching his opponent. Netero got one his knees as well, sitting with his legs folded underneath him. 

“Your intelligence and endurance are admirable, young man.” 

Hotta summoned the last of his strength to give Netero one last punch. He caught his punch and smiled at him a bit.

“Ah, still got some fight left in you?”  
“…”  
“Learn to tame the demon inside you and you shall accomplish great things.”  
“How..? How did you get so strong..?”  
“You want to know my secret?”  
"..."  
“Discipline, patience, and dedication, child.” 

Hotta didn't know what any of that meant. He was a wild spirit and stayed at the Shingen-ryu dojo for several months until being kicked out for breaking the rules of the dojo. It took Hotta a long time to understand what those words meant and even then he strayed from his path from time to time. Just like many members of the Phantom Troupe, Hotta’s home was Meteor City. He was recruited as an assassin by the mafia community and lived within the mafia community for years until getting involved in intelligence trading and black market goods. Later on, in life, he offered himself as a freelance mercenary and bodyguard to wealthy individuals which is how he met you.

Meanwhile, in the present, Kurapika took a moment to collect himself and the red glow under his contacts disappeared. He rose to his feet and threw off his suit jacket, rolling his sleeves up as well. He then patiently waited for Hotta to make a move this time. The older man understood and attempted a follow up attack. Now in full control of his emotions, Kurapika backflipped onto one of the tables and used the higher ground to perform a roundhouse kick. He successfully kicked Hotta in the face. The kick was strong breaking his nose in the process. Hotta didn't pay it any mind as the blood began to trickle down to his lips. He cracked a smile at Kurapika’s strong comeback in the fight.

“You’re not as strong as you seem,” Kurapika stated standing above him on the table as Hotta wiped his nose with his arm.  
“That’s right, but I’m strong where it counts. Keeping a cool head does wonders for you in battle.” 

Hotta recognized that Kurapika did have some skill after all if he was able to keep up with him in a fight. This only reinforced the fact that Kurapika might have had a bright future but squandered it. Currently, Kurapika earned the upper hand but Hotta was determined to take it back from him. He attacked the table Kurapika was standing on, breaking the bottom with a kick and forcing Kurapika to move to the next one. Hotta stayed right on top of Kurapika and threw a chair making him move out of the way once again.

Kurapika jumped to the pool table and Hotta did the same, standing directly across from him. Both men exchanged blows as they balanced themselves on the pool table with the grace and beauty of seasoned martial artists. Hotta grabbed a cue stick for himself and then grabbed another for Kurapika. He tossed the stick to the blonde man who caught it. Kurapika twirled the stick around his back and then held it with two hands showing he knew how to handle a weapon well.

Hotta twirled his stick as well and then re-engaged with Kurapika. The wooden sticks clashed together making a hollow sound. Hotta was able to strike Kurapika’s neck with his pool cue and then spun it around to hit his torso. Kurapika gritted his teeth and broke Hotta’s pool cue with a downward kick. Kurapika then spun his pool cue around striking Hotta behind his knee. His leg instinctively gave in allowing Kurapika to knee him in the face. Hotta responded quickly and grabbed Kurapika by his shoulders and throwing him behind him.

Kurapika was tossed far due to being so lightweight and hit the bottles of alcohol displayed above the bar’s countertop. Shards of glass pierced his skin as the liquid soaked his clothes and seeped into the wood. Kurapika grasped for the counter to get up causing a shard of glass to go into his palm. He tried to show no reaction, ignoring the pain just like his opponent did. Hotta stopped his pursuit seeing how badly injured Kurapika was. 

“It’s over,” Hotta said.  
“It’s not… Over.”  
“Enough. You did well, we’re done.”  
“I’m not done and I don’t need you to praise me.”  
“You never know when to quit, do you?”  
“Tch.” 

Hotta hopped over the bar and kneeled to look at Kurapika. He checked his head and neck making sure he wasn't bleeding out anywhere. There was glass sticking out of his forehead, arms, and upper chest. He was bleeding but thankfully nothing vital was pierced. 

“This got out of hand… I didn't mean to throw you that far.”  
“You started it…”  
“I was teaching you a lesson, the lesson is over.”  
“…”  
“You need to come upstairs so we can take care of this.”  
“I can treat my own injuries.”  
“I wasn't asking for your permission,” Hotta said sternly. 

Hotta forced Kurapika to come upstairs to his apartment so he could dress his wounds, practically dragging him upstairs himself. For the moment Hotta ignored his injuries while he removed the glass stuck in Kurapika’s forehead with a tweezer. The true winner of the fight was unclear yet Kurapika still felt humiliated. 

“I’m fine,” Kurapika said pushing Hotta’s arm away. “I can do it myself…”  
“Don’t be a brat.”  
“Don’t treat me like a child.”  
“Don’t act like one.” 

Hotta finished removing the glass from Kurapika’s head and set the tweezers down.  
“Do the rest,” Hotta said walking towards the bathroom. 

Kurapika used the tweezer to remove the shard from his hand. He tried to show no pain but the slow pull of the glass did hurt. Once he pulled the shard out he winced a bit. Hotta returned holding a rag over his nose with one hand and bandages in the other. He threw the bandages at Kurapika and went to the kitchen to get some ice for himself. 

“Hope you know how to wrap them,” Hotta sarcastically commented. “But I forgot you know everything.”  
“Hmph.” 

Kurapika huffed and began to take his alcohol soaked shirt off annoyed with Hotta’s attitude as usual. He returned from the kitchen and plopped down on the couch. Hotta looked up at the ceiling tilting his head back as he let the bag of ice sit atop his nose. Kurapika pulled out more of the glass shards from his chest and arms. He then began to wrap the bandages around his body starting with his head. It was silent and the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. The fight was over but the conflict among them remained. 

“Do you think you’re better than me?” He asked Hotta abruptly.  
“I’m not better than you, Kurapika.”  
“You’re condescending and arrogant. You look down on me. You judge me for doing certain things but you’ll never truly understand why I do them. You said you wanted to teach me how to live in this world, as if you know yourself!”  
“…”  
“You think you have all the answers? You think I wanted to hurt her? You think our relationship meant nothing to me? You’re a hypocrite and I have had enough of your self-righteousness.”  
“And how long have you been waiting to say all that?” Hotta sarcastically retorted.  
“You’re not taking me seriously…”  
“I’m not better than you,” Hotta repeated. “I’m worse and I probably have more in common with those thieves than you…”  
“…You’ve killed innocent people?”  
“There was a time I did whatever I needed to do to survive. Then it wasn't about survival anymore… I got so used to it that I didn't feel anything at all.”  
“…How could you?”  
“I don’t know… But it never felt right. All the jobs I did never felt right… I hated myself for a long time…”  
“…So what changed?” 

Hotta sighed and recalled another memory of his as Kurapika continued to bandage himself. Approximately Nine years ago after killing the man who bought you and running away Hotta went on a killing spree. He hunted each member involved in the invasion of Masneha and your abduction. When he was finished he traveled to Swardani City where he intended to confront an old friend. Hotta pushed his way through the Hunter Association building as Beans, the chairmen’s secretary tried to stop him. Beans stood in Hotta’s way waving his arms around.

“I’m sorry you can’t see the chairmen right now—”  
“Out of my way.”  
“Sir! Please, you can’t do that!”

Hotta pushed on, ignoring Beans' warning and going around him. Beans was too small to stop him himself but wouldn't just let him get away with this. 

“Oh dear, I didn't want to do this… But I don’t have a choice!” 

Beans rushed over to his desk and pressed a large button calling security to take care of the situation. Hotta made it to the Chairmen’s room and kicked the door open causing the older man to turn around. He wasn't startled or concerned but intrigued by the sudden intrusion. 

“Netero.”  
“Ah yes, I remember you…” Netero said stroking his beard. “The young man from the dojo.”

Beans entered the room with security behind him and pointed at Hotta. They grabbed him by the arms and Hotta prepared himself to fight. Before anyone could do anything Netero waved his hand dismissing them.

“Now now, it’s fine. Don’t worry.”  
“Are you sure?” Beans asked Netero.  
“I’m sure.” 

Beans signaled to the security to let Hotta go which they did. Beans left the room with the security leaving him and Netero alone. He came closer to Hotta standing across from him.

“Look how much you've grown… You know, you’re looking a little old,” Netero joked.  
“Cut the crap, I’ve got something to say.”  
“I’m listening…”  
“The Hunter Association is a disgrace,” Hotta stated unapologetically. “You should be ashamed of yourself. These so called Hunters run amok doing whatever they damn well please. I just tracked down a group of Hunters that go to exotic lands and poach whatever is there. I’m not just talking about animals either…. It’s disgusting. This kid— A little girl— They ruined her life.”  
“And you’re here because you want me to take care of the situation?”  
“No… I took care of it. I killed them, all of them. I don’t care if you didn't like that or you want to punish me for it… I don’t regret ending their lives. Maybe death was too easy for them but at least they won’t get the chance to do it again.”  
“I see you’re still a demon but at least you’re on our side.”  
“Who said I was on your side?”  
“Why else would you force your way in? Hmm? Do you intend to fight me again?”  
“Tch.”

Hotta looked to the side knowing full well he would lose against Netero. He felt foolish and didn't know why he was here. He wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish by bringing this to his attention. He was angry over what happened to you and now that he completed his revenge he didn't know what to do now. What was there left to do for you and himself? 

“Hotta, do you want to do a job for me?” Netero asked him.  
“Hell no.”  
“We could use someone like you. You’re not afraid to get your hands dirty and while I don’t agree with your methods… Your honesty speaks volumes. Honest men are hard to come by these days. You’re also a bright mind.”  
“What do you want from me?”  
“Those Hunters you spoke about do need to be held accountable for their actions and you can make that a reality.”  
“…”  
“And this little girl… Is she in your care now?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then I trust that you’ll protect her with your life.”  
“You don’t understand. I’m not capable of being her parent.”  
“Then be a teacher. Teach her how to be a Hunter.” 

Hotta accepted Netero’s offer and since then has been working with the association to catch the criminal hunters. He had dedicated the rest of his life to it and to protect you. This recent heartbreak was the only thing he could not shield you from. In the present Hotta sat up and removed the ice from his face to look at Kurapika. 

“I found a new reason to live,” Hotta said earnestly.  
“…”  
“What you did was cruel, Kurapika. She didn't deserve it. Your reasons don’t change that fact.”  
“I know that…”  
“But she never stopped caring about you… Not even once. She even asked me to continue helping you with the scarlet eyes.”  
“I don’t want your help with the scarlet eyes anymore. Forget all about it.”  
“Thought you might say that,” Hotta let out a breathless chuckle. “I’ll just take care of what needs to be taken care of then.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You know what I mean.”

Kurapika took a moment to think and then realized what he was talking about. Kurapika rose to his feet clenching the bandages in his hand. 

“Do not pursue the Spiders. The last time my friends got involved they—”  
“Gon and Killua were unprepared for what they were getting themselves into. For me, this is just a regular Tuesday.”  
“This is not your fight.”  
“Yeah, but I don’t like going back on my word.”  
“It isn't worth it.”  
“I’ll be the judge of that.”  
“You’re a stubborn old man…” 

Hotta smiled and nodded in agreement as Kurapika stared him down. Remembering his ability he sighed and looked away.

“Your friends would gladly give their lives for you, I saw it in your memories. Do you think you’re deserving of their loyalty?”  
“I am not…”  
“Then become a man who is worthy of it.” 

Kurapika’s eyes widened as he remembered his friends and how lucky he was to have them. He thought of you too and how loyal you were to him even now. Kurapika picked up his alcohol soaked shirt, folding it over his arm.

“I’m leaving now…”  
“You can stay if you want.”  
“It’s best if I go or we may end up fighting again…”  
“Heh, that’s true…” 

Kurapika moved towards the door holding his shirt. He stopped before opening it and looked back at the older man.

“Hotta.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Don’t do anything for my sake. Please.”  
“You don’t have to take responsibility for my actions. I’ll do what I want. You’re free of any guilt if that’s what you’re worried about. Besides, we’re not friends, remember?”  
“…”  
“Take care of yourself, Kurapika.” 

Kurapika felt uneasy about their conversation and there was nothing he could do or say to stop him from pursuing the Phantom Troupe. Even trying to physically stop him would prove to be difficult since they were almost evenly matched but Hotta had the advantage in his skill and experience. 

Just like Kurapika, he did not rely on brute strength but the strength of his will. Without another word, Kurapika left Hotta’s apartment. Hotta sighed laying back down with the ice on his face. He mentally prepared himself for what he was undertaking and had no intention of getting you involved as usual. Once again you would be left in the dark.


	10. I Need Your Help

When you saw what happened to Hotta’s face and the wreckage of the bar you were shocked. You demanded to know what happened and who did this. Hotta told you it was just some thugs who were drunk and got out of hand. You said you would find them and make them pay for the damages but he told you not to bother. According to him, they were probably long gone by now. It did cross your mind that Hotta picked a fight with Kurapika but he denied it.

Hotta didn't enjoy lying to you but it turns out he did it often. More often than he would like to admit. Just a few months ago he kept a big secret from you. The secret of the Chimera Ant crisis. Netero called on Hotta to meet with him, Morel, and Knov to discuss the situation. The goal was to get him on board and possibly have him use Shared Mind on one of the enemies. They would know everything the enemy was thinking and doing in real time which would give them a huge advantage. The trouble was convincing Hotta it was a worthy cause. 

“So, you want me and possibly my pupil to fight some biological monstrosity because if we don’t the whole world is gonna go to shit?” Hotta said sarcastically. “Sound about right?”  
“You’re being tongue-in-cheek as expected,” Knov said pushing his glasses up. “Yes, that sums it up.”  
“And what if I said no?”  
“No one would blame you but the situation is dire,” Netero said. “You need to know that.”  
“You think I’m scared? No, that’s not it,” Hotta walked across the room and looked at all three men. “Are your students… Prepared to die for the sake of the mission?”  
“Well we’re gonna test them to see what they’re made of,” Morel answered.  
“That wasn't my question,” Hotta repeated. “Are they prepared to die?”  
“They’re prepared to do whatever they need to do to prove themselves.”  
“Would you let them die?”  
“You’re acting like we’re just sending them out there to die.”  
“I’m sorry, Is that not what we’re doing?” Hotta responded mockingly. “How about we kill them now and serve them on plates, save the ants some trouble.”  
“Tch. You’re being an ass…” Morel groaned.  
“I’m being realistic.”  
“Hotta,” Netero chimed in. “You make good points but nevertheless, I need your answer.”  
“The answer is no,” Hotta said without any hesitation. “I will not join your Extermination Team nor will my student. She goes where I go and I won’t even mention it to her because once she sets her heart on something… She can’t give up on it. She has a lot of life to live. I don’t see a point in either of us fighting these ants…”  
“How about humanity?” Morel pressed Hotta. “Good enough reason for you?”  
“I can only focus on what matters to me. Saving humankind and being some sort of hero isn’t on my to do list… Who knows, maybe this is just mother nature’s way of giving us all the middle finger.”

Hotta turned his back on all of them including Netero who he had a deep respect for. He couldn't afford to question whether his decision was right or wrong. He knew in his heart he was doing the smart thing. 

“Call me a coward if you want, curse me out, spit on my grave. I don’t care. I know my limitations and hers. I want my student— no— I want my daughter to live.”  
“Hotta, you still have my respect,” Netero said. “It is your decision to not participate, however… I want you to continue to collect intel and assist in keeping the Hunter website up to date. Don’t leak anything about the ants to the public. If you hear anything of interest to us, I want to know it first.” 

In truth, Hotta did have some guilt over his decision. He aspired to be a man like Netero but never quite achieved it. He didn't care about humanity as a whole. He only cared about the few good ones trapped in this cruel world. You and Kurapika were the only two people who mattered currently. You deserved to be together and be there for each other. You both deserved a life free of bloodshed. That was all the motivation he needed. 

A few days after Hotta’s injuries healed up he lifted the bar countertop revealing a secret chamber lined with scarlet satin. Inside the chamber was an old katana with a red and black handle. A few other tools and weapons accompanied the sword. Hotta picked up his sword and swung it once. The sword was still sharp despite being almost as old as he was. He took the other tools figuring they would come in handy.

Hotta left a note at the bar saying he had to do something and he would be back soon. The note never said when or what he was doing. You decided to trust his judgment for now and figured he might have been helping Kurapika with something. It was a shame both of them continued to decide what you could and could not do. Yes, they were trying to protect you but you had enough of this. You had enough waiting around when you were a trained hunter capable of so much more. 

Hotta collected what he could about the Phantom Troupe and went off of Kurapika’s memories. It wasn't very much but it was something. He went east and eventually entered a thick forest. Towards nightfall he made a small camp for himself with a fire made of large sticks and some twigs. Hotta reached for a stick to stoke the fire but he felt the presence of another person and reached for his sword instead of a stick. Grasping the hilt he waited for the individual to show themselves. Hotta hoped he wouldn't run into one of those ants. He knew they were powerful and difficult to kill. 

A few moments of silence passed but Hotta didn't let his guard down for a second. Suddenly, a single playing card came flying through the air aiming for him. Hotta pulled his sword from its casing with the speed and elegance of a swordmaster. He blocked the card with the swipe of the sword causing it to hit the bark of a tree. Soon after that Hisoka emerged from the forest casually walking towards Hotta’s small camp. 

“Well, you’re not the one I was looking for but you do seem strong…”  
“Take another step and we’ll have a problem,” Hotta warned now standing and pointing the sword at him.

Hisoka stopped walking and made a satisfied hum, smirking wickedly, excited by Hotta’s threat. Hotta sighed and quickly realized the intimidation tactic would not work on this particular person. He decided to sheathe his sword and changed his approach though he kept his hand resting on the hilt. 

“Who are you looking for?” Hotta asked him.  
“Hmm? I don’t think I owe you that sort of information~” 

Hotta stayed silent and attempted to get the information by force using his Nen ability. Looking into his eyes he tried to form a connection with his mind. As if on instinct Hisoka turned his head breaking the eye contact. 

“Please don’t stare… I really am quite shy~”  
“Tch,” Hotta was becoming frustrated. “No good,” he thought to himself. “He’s sharp… We’ll have to do this the old fashioned way.” 

Once again Hotta changed his approach for dealing with Hisoka and sat down. He loosely folded his hands together and decided to go with being truthful. 

“I’m looking for someone too… Think they might be the same person?”  
“That depends~”  
“I’m looking for what’s known as the Phantom Troupe. If you tell me they’re dead I’ll tell you you’re wrong.”  
“Mhm, now this is getting interesting…” Hisoka smirked.  
“And why’s that?”  
“You’re not the only one interested in the spiders~”  
“…You know Kurapika?”  
“Hmm… I might…”  
“Quit being so evasive… It’s starting to piss me off…”  
“Oh? I have no idea what you’re talking about~” Hisoka teased.  
“Tch.”  
“So what reason do you have for looking for the spiders?”  
“Well, that’s an interesting question…” Hotta mused on Hisoka’s question for a moment. He gave it some thought and remembered why this, of all things, was a worthy cause to him. 

“There are different Psychics that exist in the world which range from clairvoyants to Telepaths. I’m naturally an Empath and could sense the emotions of others before I even knew what Nen was. I’ve always been overly interested in the pain of others… And then I met Kurapika. I felt his rage. I saw it too… It’s enough to make someone go mad… And I rather it be me than him. So now, I have no problem playing Grim Reaper. He might hate me for it, but I intend to kill every demon that plagues his mind until there’s nothing left for him to do but enjoy his life.”

Hisoka had no interest in the noble reason behind Hotta’s actions. What stood out to him was his resolve to find the phantom troupe and how he could use it to his advantage. 

“This actually works in my favor so I’ll tell you where you can find the spiders… I have just two conditions,” Hisoka said holding fingers up. “First, go after the legs and leave me the head. He’s mine. I’ll kill you now otherwise.”  
“Fine… I can agree to that.”  
“Second, when you’re done with your little ‘heroic quest’ you’ll fight me.”  
“And why would I fight you?”  
“Because you’re strong~”  
“Oh I get it,” Hotta said sarcastically. “You’re one of those adrenaline junkies… Can’t feel alive without being on the brink of death, huh?”  
“Something like that~” Hisoka answered while licking his lips hungrily.  
“Freak… Fine, we have a deal, but I don’t just want to know where I can find them. I want you to tell me everything you know about them.”  
“Hmm, you drive a hard bargain~”

Hisoka teased Hotta and tested his patience but ultimately agreed to the deal. Hotta knew he would have to play by his rules if he wanted to obtain the information. He was used to making all sorts of deals with all sorts of people. Hisoka’s request was actually much simpler than what Hotta expected. He was used to dealing with men who were motivated by greed. Hisoka was not one of those people and he was more intelligent than he let on. Hotta’s only option here was to humor him. 

Since then, a week passed and you hadn't heard anything from Hotta. The bar was closed and he didn't pick up his phone. You were worried something might have happened to him. This was ridiculous, enough was enough. There was one person who might know where he had gone. He wasn't exactly someone you wanted to see right now but there was no other choice. You had to face Kurapika again whether you wanted to or not. The very thought of him stirred up all sorts of feelings. You longed for what you had before. You wondered if you stayed friends could this have all been avoided? 

In reality, It didn't matter, he did it to his friends too. All of them were counting on you and you couldn't help but feel like you failed them. Taking Hotta’s motorcycle from behind the bar you went to find Kurapika. The birds in the area surveyed the skies and led you in the right direction. Kurapika was leaving a wealthy hotel empty handed and walked down the street. You pulled to the side of the street and called out to him. 

“Kurapika!” 

Upon hearing your voice Kurapika perked up and froze. He didn't turn around, he didn't know if he could face you after your last encounter.

“Hotta’s missing,” you informed him.  
“…How do you know he’s missing?”  
“He’s been gone for a week. He isn't answering my calls and I don’t know where he went. He’s never done this before.”  
“…”  
“If you know something… Please, tell me.”  
“…”  
“Kurapika, say something.”  
“I told him not to do it…”  
“Do what?”  
“…”  
“Kurapika, turn around and face me now,” you said sternly. “I need answers.” 

Kurapika took a deep breath and turned around to face you. You were just as he remembered, angelic yet fierce. You didn't have time for beating around the bush. He thought he ought to be straightforward, he owed you that much. 

“He went after the Spiders… He insisted on keeping his word. I didn't want him to.”  
“Tch. Typical… Once he sets his heart on something… He can’t give up on it, but he didn't tell me anything about that…”  
“He wouldn’t, he doesn't want you involved, and neither do I.”  
“Both of you need to stop deciding for me! But more importantly… Do you think he’ll be alright on his own?”  
“That depends, when we fought I acknowledged he was a skillful and experienced martial artist. He is proficient in hand to hand combat for a specialist and is intelligent enough to get out of tight situations easily.”  
“You fought—I knew it… Damnit Hotta.”  
“I’m not surprised he’s kept that a secret as well.”  
“I’m gonna kill him…”  
“That’s if he’s alive for you to do so…” 

Kurapika’s honest words punched you in the gut. The thought of Hotta dying frightened you and you didn't want to think about it. 

“Why… Why would you say that?”  
“Because It’s possible he could take one or two of them on his own but that’s not how they operate. They are often in a group and if he fails to separate them they will overwhelm him and he will lose.”  
“I won’t let that happen. I’ll find him.”  
“…”  
“Come with me, Kurapika.”  
“…”  
“Please, help me find him.”  
“I don’t think you want me around you…”  
“Whatever happened between us doesn't matter right now. I need your help.” 

Your sweet voice was laced with desperation and worry. Kurapika promised himself he wouldn't allow anything to distract him from retrieving the rest of the scarlet eyes. He was close to getting them all and already retrieved a lot of them. He was so close to putting this hell behind him but then what? There was nothing and no one to go back to. He sabotaged his relationship with you and now here you were asking for his help. 

Your beautiful wide eyes were glistening with tears as Kurapika contemplated helping you or not. You weren't just anyone. You were the woman who stood by his side when he was at his lowest point. You declared your love to him even when he believed he wasn't worth loving. To turn his back on you now would be callous. Not to mention, Hotta cared for him in his own way. Saying no would be turning his back on him as well. 

“I’ll need a map.”  
“A map?”  
“Yes. A map of the world.” 

You gestured him to get on and with some hesitation, he placed himself behind you. He was unsure where to place his hands until you told him to hang onto you. Kurapika reluctantly hung onto your waist as you revved up the metal beast. It was strange being so close after all that occurred between you two. You missed the warmth of his body and it was almost a cruel joke to feel it now. 

You returned to your apartment with Kurapika which was awkward for both of you. You two hadn't been in the same apartment since you slept together but now wasn't the time to dwell on all that. You found a map in the closet of your bedroom and laid it out on the table for Kurapika. He conjured and dangled the dowsing chain over the map to find Hotta’s location. You watched him with great anticipation as the chain moved. 

“He’s not in Yorknew city,” Kurapika said.  
“Where is he?” 

The ball on the end of the chain moved east on the map. Kurapika pulled his hand away and made the chains disappear. 

“The range is too broad for me to give you his exact location but it appears he went east.”  
“It’s good enough,” you said rolling up the map. “Thank you, Kurapika.”  
“I suppose I can try again when we are closer…”  
“You’re still coming with me?”  
“Yes, unless you changed your mind about my company…”  
“No, I would appreciate it.” 

You rolled up the map as Kurapika looked around silently. It seemed like there was something he wanted to ask you and finally, he did. 

“Did you um… Did you happen to get rid of my stuff?”  
“No, your things are still here but you didn't really leave much here…”  
“I just need to change my clothes, that’s all.”  
“Alright, go right ahead.” 

Kurapika went to the bedroom and opened the bottom drawer. he had just one extra set of clothes in your apartment. In the drawer was his white full-body training suit, blue and golden yellow tabard, and matching flats. You stayed in the living room while Kurapika changed. When he returned to the living room you were surprised to see him in something other than a suit. 

“I’ve never seen you wear that before…”  
“That’s because I have become accustomed to wearing a suit to blend in with the mafia community and others. This is the clothing of the Kurta.”  
“I like it…” you gave a strained smile. “So are you ready now?”  
“I am.”

You placed the map in a bag with a few other things and said goodbye to your hummingbird who was sucking the nectar from your flowers. Leaving the apartment you got on Hotta’s motorcycle with Kurapika again. The back of Kurapika’s tabard flapped in the wind while you sped down the street. Right now, you had one goal in mind and your eyes burned with intensity as you raced against the clock. Hopefully, it wasn't too late to provide Hotta with backup.


	11. A Lesson in Mercy

During their discussion a week ago Hisoka gave Hotta the rundown of who was who in the Phantom Troupe. Of course, he withheld some things here and there since he wasn't the type of person who gave everything away. Hotta knew Hisoka wasn't exactly trustworthy but he got what he needed from him. One thing that stood out to him was how closely the members stuck together. Hotta saw glimpses of them from Kurapika’s memories but other than that this was new information and it would prove to be a dilemma. 

“They’re always in a group or in pairs, huh?”  
“Is that a problem~?”  
“Can you create a distraction for me?”  
“I could~ But that wasn't a part of our deal,” Hisoka smirked. “You should have thought of that before.”  
“I didn't know that before.”  
“Really? Didn’t you babble something about being a psychic?”  
“I can’t see the future— Did you listen to anything I said?”  
“Sorry, I tend to get bored when others monologue for long periods of time~”

Hotta gave Hisoka an unamused glare while the latter was rather pleased with himself. He maintained his smirk making the older man sigh and cross his arms. 

“Are you gonna assist me or not?”  
“I have better things to do~”  
“Fine. I’ll do it myself.” 

Hisoka pulled the joker card from his deck and threw it towards Hotta with a flick of his wrist. It wasn't covered Shu like usual and Hotta caught the card. 

“See what you can do with this~”  
“What the hell am I gonna do with a playing card?”  
“You’ll think of something… and I want it back. Return it to me when you’ve finished and we’ll have our fight.”  
“You’re really looking forward to that, huh?”  
“I always look forward to killing someone worthy,” Hisoka smirked.  
“I said I’d fight you, I didn't say I’d let you kill me. I’ve had my fair share of fights, I won’t go down easy.”  
“So confident~ We’ll see how you fare against the Spiders.” 

Hotta huffed and rolled his eyes. He didn't need to prove anything to him, that wasn't his goal. He knew what he needed to do and now it was a matter of executing it. In the present, Hotta was stalking Nobunaga and Machi. He had been for some time now. He listened closely to their conversations and had plenty of experience in tailing from his days as an assassin. So far, they hadn't noticed him. 

He heard Hisoka’s name mentioned a few times and it was obvious they weren't a fan of his. The woman seemed to dislike him the most. They also mentioned Chrollo and it seemed he was free of the curse Kurapika put on him. If Kurapika didn't know that already it would be something Hotta would have to relay back to him. Hotta thought for a moment on how to separate these two and then got a brilliant idea. 

When the time was right Hotta threw the joker card mimicking Hisoka’s technique with Shu. The card flew past both of them with great speed. Machi’s eyes widened and then narrowed as Nobunaga put his hand on his sword. 

“Hisoka’s here,” Machi stated.  
“What the hell does he want?” Nobunaga complained. “I thought he was busy harassing the boss.” 

Hotta quickly threw a six-point shuriken from the opposite direction which came between them. Nobunaga and Machi jumped out of the way at an incredible speed. 

“There’s another enemy,” Machi observed.  
“Could be the chain user.”  
“…”  
“So, how do you wanna handle this?”  
“Leave Hisoka to me,” Machi said.  
“Works for me, the chain bastard is mine then.” 

The two of them went in opposite directions to confront their respective foes. Hotta turned one enemy into two successfully dividing Nobunaga and Machi. Hotta made sure to draw Nobunaga further and further away until getting him right where he wanted him. He stood a good distance away from Nobunaga with the strong wind blowing the leaves and his ponytail. 

“Who the hell are you?” Nobunaga crudely asked.  
“Not who you thought I was, probably,” he responded.  
“Tch. You working with the chain bastard?”  
“You mean the ‘chain bastard’ you guys created?”  
“…”  
“What? Did you really think your actions weren't going to have consequences? It’s called Karma and you awoke an unstoppable demon. If only his family was alive… Maybe your friends would be too.” 

Nobunaga quickly came at Hotta and their katanas clashed together. The blades scraped against one another creating sparks. Nobunaga gave Hotta a stern death stare which is what he was hoping for. After five seconds passed Hotta successfully paired his mind with Nobunaga. 

“Don’t waste your breath!” Nobunaga shouted still pressing his blade against Hotta’s. “I don't need a guilt trip. I have no regrets.”  
“You have no remorse… But you do have regrets. You wish you were there for Uvogin the night he died. You thought he could handle himself and you were wrong.”  
“Keep his name out of your mouth.”  
“You two have a lot of history together… You were good friends. You worked well together.”

Nobunaga took a moment to jump away from Hotta a little spooked by everything he was saying. He knew too much about them. He knew things even Kurapika wouldn't know, it didn't make sense to him. 

“How do you know that? What are you?”  
“I can see it in your memories. It seems like I’m stirring up some old memories in you. It’s sad, really.”  
“…”  
“Before you ask, no, I’m not like Pakunoda. I don’t need to touch someone to see their memories. Every thought or memory you have goes straight to my mind and you can’t do a thing about it. I’ll know every move you make before you even make it.” 

Nobunaga didn't care that he was at a severe disadvantage and rushed towards Hotta again anyway. Hotta knew what he would do and easily avoided his attack proving what he said was true. It didn't matter how skillful Nobunaga was since Hotta could anticipate every trick up his sleeve.

“You have no chance against me but I admire your spirit. Give me everything you got.”  
“You asked for it!”

Nobunaga rushed towards Hotta again as a true Enhancer would. He was determined to kill him as Hotta easily avoided every attack. He preferred to fight his opponents rather than assassinate them. He wanted them to feel as if they earned their deaths. He intended to give Nobunaga a chance to fight for his life. Receiving his thoughts in real time he noticed it was not his life he was fighting for. He was fighting for the fallen Spiders and their boss. His loyalty was commendable and in that regard, he earned Hotta’s respect.

Meanwhile, you and Kurapika went east but stayed on the Yorbian continent. You had to stop for gas along the way almost completely running on empty. The motorcycle wasn't the only thing running out of gas. You hadn't eaten or stopped to rest. You didn't even realize that day turned to night. Beyond this point was a small town and then inhabited areas full of trees and wildlife. Kurapika leaned against one of the pillars of the fuel station as you refueled the motorcycle. 

There was no one else around except for three bikers sitting atop their hogs doing nothing else but trying to look tough. It was obvious they weren't Hunters. They wouldn't last a second in a real fight and it was unlikely any of them would survive the Hunter Exam. The bikers blinked the lights of their motorcycle trying to get your attention. They whistle and catcalled at you and Kurapika. He was both annoyed and disgusted with their behavior. 

“Ignore them,” you told Kurapika.  
“How disgraceful…”  
“Yeah, tell me about it…” 

The harassment persisted as you did your best to ignore them and suppress the building anger inside. Suddenly, you felt reduced to an object again. Kurapika glanced at you watching your facial reactions. He thought about getting involved but figured it might do more harm than good. He would ignore them for now as you said but if any of them tried anything he would not hold back. He was prepared to fight for you.

“Are you girls lost?” one of the bikers called out to you both.  
“I’m a man,” Kurapika retorted coldly.  
“Is she a man too? We might need to check.”

Suddenly, something inside you snapped and before you knew it you rushed towards the three bikers delivering a roundhouse kick to the one with the big mouth. You were a fearsome martial artist yourself. Hotta taught you well. Usually, he took care of this sort of rowdiness for you. Your eyes didn't need to turn scarlet for Kurapika to recognize you were enraged and unhinged. He planned to let you take care of this until one of them uselessly pulled a switchblade on you. 

You squeezed the thug’s wrist at the pressure point and disarmed him. Grabbing ahold of the switchblade you pinned the man down holding the knife to his throat. Your bloodlust slipped out weighing heavy on them as the birds started to circle overhead waiting for a command. 

“Stop,” Kurapika called out to you. 

You heard him but could not pull yourself away from the biker. It would be so easy to just… silence him for good. The two other bikers were frozen in fear. Suddenly, you felt someone grab your arm firmly and give it a tug. You looked up at Kurapika who was giving you a stern look. 

“You are not a killer. Don’t start now.”  
“You don’t know that…” you said low and dark.  
“I do," Kurapika stood his ground. "Hotta would ask you if it was worth it. He would tell you to have restraint.”  
“He’s done worse…”  
“It is my understanding he changed because of you.”

Kurapika was able to bring you back to reality with that. You threw the switchblade to the side and walked away. The man stood up and tried to go after you in retaliation. Kurapika gave him a chop knocking him out and looked at the other two silently daring them. Those two ran off on their bikes abandoning their comrade. Kurapika approached you while you got back on the Motorcycle. 

“We need a place to stay for the night,” he informed you.  
“No. We’ll keep going until we find him.”  
“You need rest.”  
“I can’t rest.”  
“You should.”  
“If this was the Scarlet Eyes you wouldn't stop,” you reminded Kurapika. “You know you wouldn’t.”  
“That is true… But you would insist that I do.”  
“…”  
“By coming with you I've accepted the fact that I will have to face the Spiders again. When I see them I may lose control… And if you lose control too there will be no one to pull us out of the madness. We both can’t succumb to it…” 

You were even more alike than Kurapika initially thought. You kept your rage suppressed well and without Hotta around to keep you in check there was no telling what you could do. Kurapika feared both of you giving in to your rage losing yourselves completely. He made a silent promise to himself that he wouldn't allow that to happen. He knew you were not a monster and he would not let you become one. 

Back in the forest, Hotta had severed one of Nobunaga’s legs making him immobile and useless in a sword fight. Hotta stood above Nobunaga with his old sword pointed at his chin. 

“I almost feel sorry for you…”  
“…You feel sorry for me? Is that a joke?”  
“You’re a product of the city you came from, as am I.” Hotta mused on his memories and Nobunaga’s for a moment. “You have my sympathies.”  
“Screw you and your sympathies!”  
“You know, they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. It must be true since that is how my Nen ability functions.”  
“…”  
“You took their eyes, which means you took their soul. When you kill a person the least you can do is leave them with their soul.”  
“Self righteous bastard…”  
“I’ll leave you with your soul. Rest assured, you’ll join your friends soon.”  
“Uvo and Paku are gonna have to wait for me because I’m not ready to go just yet.”  
“I suppose a true fighter never gives up,” Hotta gave a slight smile. “For what it's worth, I don’t find you to be evil. I have seen evil men before. Perhaps, in another life, we could have been friends.”

At that same moment, Hotta felt another presence behind him, and by the time he sensed it a sword already pierced his torso. 

“Friends?” a soft and almost creepy voice mocked him. “We don’t play nice with others…”

Feitan pulled the sword out with one swift movement and Hotta fell facedown at Nobunaga’s side dropping his katana in the process. Nobunaga looked up and saw Machi, Phinks, Kalluto, and Shizuku with Feitan. Machi grabbed Nobunaga’s severed leg and crouched down. Without even asking her to she began to use her Nen Stitches on it. 

“Did you find Hisoka?” Nobunaga asked her.  
“No,” Machi said. “He isn't here. It was a trick to separate us.”  
“Is that guy working with the chain user?” Shizuku asked.  
“Yeah, sure seems like it…”  
“He probably knows a lot then,” Shizuku commented.  
“I can make him talk…" Feitan smiled. "That would be fun.”  
“Or we can use him has a hostage,” Nobunaga added.  
“Actually, I think he’s dead,” Shizuku responded.  
“Too bad…” Feitan complained.  
“You always get carried away, Feitan,” Nobunaga scolded.  
“It’s not like he didn't deserve it!” Phinks shouted in Feitan’s defense. “Good!” 

Hotta put himself in a state of Zetsu and played dead as the Spiders discussed what they would do with him. He was a wounded diver in a sea of sharks. Shizuku suggested they call the boss about this while Phinks said they shouldn't bother him since it was taken care of. Machi continued to sew Nobunaga’s leg back together and Kalluto kept their eyes on Hotta the whole time. The smallest member of the spiders observed him closely. He noticed the man was breathing. It was so slight anyone could have missed it if they weren't paying attention. 

“He isn't dead,” Kalluto pointed out. 

Hotta immediately stopped keeping a state of Zetsu and rolled over, throwing small spheres at them. Upon hitting the ground the spheres emitted gas making the members cough. When the gas cleared he was suddenly gone and so was his katana but since he was seriously wounded it was unlikely he had gone very far. Hotta was in a bad situation and he knew it. He was worried more of them would show up and he would be cornered. Shared Mind only worked on one enemy at a time. It was excellent for one on one battles and psychological warfare. Now, he was the one at a severe disadvantage. 

Hotta found a thick tree branch high above the ground to hide for the moment. This quickly changed from a battle to a fox hunt. Once again Hotta put himself in a state of Zetsu to keep himself concealed. Taking off his shirt Hotta tore it into shreds wrapping it around his chest like bandages. It wasn't enough to stop the bleeding but it was better than nothing. He leaned against the tree bark feeling weaker with every passing minute. He wondered how long he had left. The answer was not long if he didn't get some medical attention now. If he stayed, he would bleed out and die. If he attempted to leave the forest it was likely they would find him and he would die. He had very limited options here but he knew he had to get back to you. He knew you would never forgive him if he died here.

He always feared what you would do the day he died. He worried you would be overcome with grief like Kurapika. He didn't want that for you but it was better he went first. He wouldn't have it reversed. Hotta decided that he didn't want to die as a sitting duck. Jumping out of the tree he was immediately met by one of the Spiders. The little one, Kalluto, who was patiently waiting for him to come down. He knew that his prey would come down eventually. The man didn't make any sudden movements as Kalluto waited for him to fight his way through like a wild animal.

“Is something the matter?”  
“…”  
“Are you not going to attack me?”  
“…” 

Hotta gripped the hilt of the sword firmly but could not raise it. He looked down at Kalluto who was so much smaller than him. He was reminded of you when you were just a child. No matter how hard Hotta tried he could not convince himself to attack. He believed children deserved the chance to live their lives and choose their path. He swore to never kill a child no matter the circumstance. 

The boy saw his hesitation and took advantage of it. Kalluto jumped and spun gracefully silting the throat of the tall man. Hotta fell backward, his body hitting the ground with a large thump. The blood spilling from his throat mixed with the grass and seeped into the dirt. Kalluto landed and covered the bottom half of his face with the bloodstained paper fan. The beautiful moonlight shone on them through the trees of the forest. 

“An assassin doesn't hesitate…” Kalluto said to Hotta’s dead body while shutting the fan. Soon after the various members of the troupe came to Kalluto’s side. They surrounded Hotta’s body and Phinks gave his leg a half hearted kick. 

“Not so tough now, are ya!?”  
“He’s dead,” Feitan informed Phinks.  
“Yeah, I know that!”  
“Knock it off…” Nobunaga groaned while Machi supported him. One of his arms was slung around her shoulder as they walked towards the group together. “There’s no point in yelling at a dead body, you know that.”  
“That bastard almost killed you.”  
“But he didn't, so relax.”  
“What do we do with the body?” Shizuku asked.

The group decided to call the boss to inform him of what happened and ask what to do with the body. Shizuku had Blinky at the ready if he were to instruct them to get rid of it. Nobunaga took the phone and summed up what happened to Chrollo and made sure to mention the link between him and Kurapika.

“Leave the body,” Chrollo commanded over the phone. “Send a message.”

They received their orders from Chrollo and intended to carry them out. Hotta died a man who refused to take the life of a child and showed mercy when his opponents knew nothing of mercy. When the Phantom Troupe left, Hisoka came out of hiding having been there the whole time. He retrieved his joker card and was disappointed for his own selfish reasons. 

“Well, that’s a shame…” Hisoka said to himself looking at his body. 

He expected more from Hotta but couldn't blame him for getting cornered by them. Ever since Uvogin and Pakunoda’s deaths they've been watching each other’s backs more closely. That, however, didn't change the fact that he chose not to kill Kalluto. Hisoka was curious about what Illumi might have done if this ended differently. That would have been interesting, he thought. 

Regardless, the two of them would never have their battle and that was all that mattered to Hisoka. He could not appreciate the sacrifice Hotta made for the ones he cared for. Someone like him would never be able to. Hotta died a better man than he was years ago but it was still too soon. You still needed him in your life and you were not prepared to say goodbye yet.


	12. A Lesson in Empathy

After the confrontation with the bikers, you and Kurapika rode into the small town. You two found an inn to stay at for the night. You were against stopping even if you were exhausted. By proving you were both hunters with your licenses you were able to stay at the inn free of charge. You and Kurapika had two separate rooms and even though he was right next door you felt so alone. If getting your heart broken wasn't bad enough, you had Hotta to worry about now. Why did he have to go alone?

Kurapika approached your door and paused before attempting to knock. He heard your soft cries from the other side of the door. It hurt him to see you in such distress. After a few moments, he gave the door a soft knock and you took a moment to compose yourself. You opened the door and saw Kurapika holding a small basket of bread and cheese. 

“I’ve brought you something.”  
“…”  
“It isn't very much but it is something… The nearby shops are closed right now but I asked the innkeeper if she had any provisions I could buy. She was kind enough to give me this free of charge.”  
“I’m not hungry,” you said softly.  
“You should eat anyway.”  
“…”  
“I’ll just… Leave it here for you.” 

Kurapika set the basket down for you to eat later. He already took a piece of bread for himself but left you a majority of the provisions. Your body language communicated that you wanted to be alone. Your arms were crossed and you were looking to the side. He heard you crying before but you were doing your best to conceal that fact. 

“You do not have to hide your pain from me,” Kurapika said in a soft voice as well.  
“…”  
“But I understand if you don’t want to speak to me,” he said turning around to leave. “Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be another long day…”  
“Kurapika, wait.” 

Kurapika paused and waited for you to speak but nothing came out. There was so much to say but you didn't know where to start. A million things were on your mind. Kurapika decided it was time to face the consequences for his actions even if it would be a difficult conversation. He came back into the room and shut the door. He walked over to you sitting on the edge of the bed silently thinking of how to start. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say because a million things were also on his mind. Both of you sat in uncomfortable silence for what felt like an eternity. 

Eventually, Kurapika found the words to what he wanted to say and broke the silence. It was a question that you might or might not answer.

“If you don’t mind me asking… Did Hotta ever ask to steal your memories?”  
“…Why?”  
“Because he offered to take my memories and spare me from my burden. At first, I was outraged but then later I understood his intentions were only good.”  
“He did… And I told him no. I rather bear the pain than have my memories wiped…”  
“I feel similarly… But I’m afraid I have judged him too harshly… He’s a very selfless man. You are lucky to have him for a teacher…”  
“He’s not just my teacher, Kurapika.”  
“Yes, I can see that… You two are family.”  
“…”  
“I’m sorry I disrupted your lives. If we never met this would have never happened.”  
“…”  
“I take full responsibility for—“  
“Stop it— It’s my fault,” you clenched your hands. “I told Hotta to keep helping you with your goal… But I didn't know he was going to go after this gang of thieves by himself…He always does the dangerous stuff alone and so do you. I’m always left behind…”  
“I suppose we do have one thing in common after all… We both value your life over ours.” 

Your eyes widened and you turned to Kurapika who was looking downward. He was also clenching the hem of his tabard.

“I… I believe I owe you an apology… Based on my behavior that day you may think I didn't mean what I said. I do love you, very much. That is why I am angry at myself for allowing you to get mixed up in all of this…” 

You placed your hand over one of Kurapika’s fists which uncurled slightly. You placed your other hand on the side of his face lifting it up towards you. Both of your eyes were wet with tears and both glimmered in the dim light of the room. 

“This is not your fault…”  
“Choosing to love someone like me was a poor choice.”  
“You weren't a mistake.”  
“Are you sure about that?”  
“…”  
“As I said, we should have never met—“ 

You silenced him with a kiss showing that you still loved him despite it all. Kurapika was a little surprised by the display of affection but soon kissed you back. For a moment, all the pain you two felt on this journey disappeared. Kurapika put a hand in your hair deepening the kiss and leaned back. You straddled him clutching the upper part of his tabard as desire took over. Breaking away to breathe you remembered where you were and why you were here. You remembered you had an important job to do and this… This couldn't happen now. You pulled away fully and got off of Kurapika. He immediately understood why you pulled away and felt the same. 

“We— I’m sorry… This isn't the right time…” You said softly.  
“I agree, apologies for my inappropriate behavior…”  
“No, it isn't your fault… I just—”  
“You feel guilty for wasting time when someone you deeply care about is waiting for you. I know, that is exactly how I felt before… It was never personal.”  
“I knew it wasn't personal I just— I was heartbroken when you left.”  
“I know, I should have explained myself better… My parents and Pairo are counting on me to retrieve the eyes and avenge the Kurta. I can’t afford to do it at my leisure.”  
“Yet… You’re here with me.”  
“I couldn't allow you to go after the Spiders alone. They are still my responsibility to deal with but… Most importantly, you asked for my help. I will not decline your plea.”  
“…”  
“You should get some rest now. I’ll stay here for the night, if you want…” 

You gave a small nod as Kurapika took off his tabard but kept the white training suit underneath. His tabard rested on a nearby chair. Getting back into bed he turned off the light and rolled over. He was right beside you but kept to himself. A bit of the awkwardness from before returned and you gently shook his shoulder. He turned over to look at you in the darkness of the room. He was full of mixed messages and you needed an answer. 

“Kurapika?”  
“Yes?”  
“When this is over, do you want to be with me?”  
“I-- Of course I want to… But I don’t think it will be possible...”  
“How long do you want me to wait?”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“I can wait for you, Kurapika.”  
“You’ll be waiting a long time. I— I don’t know when this will all be over.”  
“I’ll wait.”  
“Am I truly worth it?”  
“I think you are.”  
“…I think we should discuss this another time. You should get some sleep…” 

Kurapika was back to being enigmatic but he did answer your question. He wanted to be with you but the situation proved difficult. There was always something standing between you two. You wondered if there was a way to make this relationship work. If not now, perhaps in the future. It was an optimistic thought to fall asleep to. While asleep, you naturally curled up next to him while he slept with one arm slung over you. Sleeping in this way brought comfort to you both. 

The next morning Kurapika laid out the map on the table to use the dowsing chain again. He held his palm open over the map with the ball dangling below. The chain didn't move an inch and Kurapika knew right away something was wrong. You watched the unmoving chain anxious and confused. 

“What does that mean, Kurapika?”  
“…”  
“What does it mean?” you repeated.  
“It means I can not sense his Aura… It no longer exists…”  
“That… That can’t be.”  
“I’m sorry…  
“Your chain must be broken.”  
“My chains do not ‘break.’ ”  
“Well, something is wrong with it.”  
“There is nothing wrong with my Nen ability. You… You’re just going to make this harder on yourself if you can’t accept it.”  
“Accept what, Kurapika?”  
“…”  
“Accept what!?”  
“That we were too late…” 

Your greatest fear became reality with Kurapika’s words. You were not convinced. This couldn't be true… Hotta was too stubborn to die! You shook your head in denial. 

“I won’t accept that! It isn't true!”  
“…”  
“Just admit you wanna go home already and you don’t want to bother looking for him!”  
“Do not start making wild accusations,” Kurapika sternly corrected you.  
“You made me stay at this inn— If we didn't we would have found him sooner!”  
“And you would have eventually collapsed from exhaustion.”  
“So what!?”  
“You are being irrational. Listen to yourself.” 

There was no getting through to you as your emotions began to take over. Getting your things you opened the door. Kurapika grabbed your arm silently telling you not to go and don't do anything rash. You looked at him with a burning fire in your eyes.

“Let go of me, Kurapika.”  
“…”  
“Let go… Now.”

Kurapika gently let go of your arm recognizing that familiar look in your eye. It was the same look he had in his eye before when you tried to stop him. You were a mirror for what he had become and he didn't like it one bit. Your sweet soul was tainted with bitter hatred. He didn't know what to say to you and you left before he could utter a word. You didn't need his chain, the birds would be your guide now. You trusted the birds to lead you straight to Hotta. 

While left in the inn, Kurapika thought for a moment on what his friends would do. Leorio would run after you without a second thought. Gon and Killua would do the same even if they were to put their lives at risk to do so. He didn't have a choice here. You were too important for him to lose, both literally and figuratively. This was not who you were. Kurapika went after you and used his dowsing chain to follow you.  
In that short amount of time, you made good headway. There was some distance between you two but he was determined to catch up. The grey clouds rolled in and it started to rain but that didn't stop him. He pressed on through the rain. Eventually, he found you. You were in a patch of forest with the rain coming down on your head. You were sitting on your knees near Hotta’s body. The color had all but drained from his face leaving him a pale and cold corpse. They left him out in the open like a dead animal. Surprisingly, his body was untouched by the wildlife and birds of prey.

A note was left on Hotta’s body which was held in place by a knife in his chest. It was done in the same fashion as the message left at the Kurta Clan massacre. This wasn't a coincidence, this was a signature. “You owe us more than this,” is what the message read. Upon reading it Kurapika clenched his fists and his eyes turned scarlet under his contacts. He was enraged by the threat. All the pain he initially felt years ago came flooding back to him. His scarlet eyes welled up with tears all for a man he didn't even like. 

He couldn't stand the superior air about Hotta or the way he made him feel small yet… he was crushed. He wanted to make them pay but Kurapika’s rage was nothing compared to yours. The trees began to shake as the distressed birds came to you in swarm squawking and cawing as if it were a battle cry. They surrounded you and Hotta’s body in a black tornado as your bloodlust filled the area. It was so strong even Kurapika felt a little ill by it. 

Kurapika blinked a few times and his eyes ceased to be scarlet. He promised himself he would not allow both of you to succumb to rage. You were lost in it as the forest shook with your wrath. Nature was a fearsome thing and anyone with the ability to control even a small part of it should be feared. Humans took advantage of the land, its resources, and life itself. While nature was beautiful to look at it was also capable of so much horror. The very same applied to you. Kurapika was stunned at the display of your wrath. It was a level of fury and destruction that even the scarlet eyes could not achieve.

Kurapika called out your name but there was no response. You had no control at this point. He had to get to you somehow and stop this. It was likely you would destroy the forest and even yourself in the process. Emitting this much Aura had to be straining on your body. Kurapika braced himself and made his way towards you. The birds came after him, attacking anything that moved toward you. They clawed at him tearing at his skin and ripping apart his tabard. Kurapika kept his arms in a crossed formation as he tried to get closer to you. Soon, Kurapika was overwhelmed by the birds and was tackled to the ground. He instinctively put his hands over his eyes as the birds tried to peck and claw them out. 

Kurapika’s hands sustained many scratches as did the rest of his face. No matter what, he had to protect his eyes. Kurapika did not want to fight you nor were you trying to hurt him. You didn't even realize what was happening at the moment. Your mind went completely blank and all you felt was pain. Kurapika removed his hands from his face and opened his eyes. His eyes were scarlet but he was not enraged. Using Emperor Time he found new strength to get up and keep going. He braced himself once again and pushed through the mass of birds while screaming your name. This time, you heard him and were brought back to reality. 

Kurapika made it into the eye of the storm and you saw he was horrifically scratched and bleeding. He dropped to his knees directly in front of you and Hotta’s body. 

“Did I… Do that… To you..?” you asked tearfully. 

Kurapika did not respond to your question and instead reached out to you. He pulled you into a tight embrace. It was unlike any hug you ever received from him before. His hold on you said everything words could not right now. It told you he was sorry for your loss, that he loved you, that he empathized with you, and that he would not allow anyone to hurt you, including yourself. You clutched the back of his shredded tabard and let out a sharp cry of anguish. Kurapika held onto you while enduring your sharp wailing and the screeching from the birds. You buried your head into his chest crying until you were emotionally exhausted. 

The birds dispersed and you passed out from all the mental and emotional strain. He gently lifted you into his arms and supported the back of your head. Kurapika was still bleeding from the scratches but he paid it no mind. He would take care of himself after he took care of you. He glanced at Hotta’s body for a moment and promised to come back to give him a proper burial. Kurapika couldn't help but feel responsible despite Hotta telling him he was not responsible for his actions. The Phantom Troupe already owed Kurapika a great deal but he would not let them forget this.


	13. What He Left Behind

When you awoke you were in bed, tucked in with the covers up to your chin. Opening your eyes you realized you were back at the Inn. You saw Kurapika sitting in a chair with his head resting against the wall with his eyes closed. He didn't have a single scratch on him having used Holy Chain on himself. You would have believed it was all a dream if it wasn't for the fact that his clothes were still torn apart. With great horror, you remembered what happened right before you passed out.

“K-Kurapika…?” 

Your voice was faint but as soon as he heard your voice his eyes flew open. He came to your bedside right away. 

“You’re awake… How do you feel..?”   
“I feel… Fine.”   
“You were in a coma for three days,” Kurapika informed you.   
“…You stayed?”   
“Did you expect me to just leave you here?” 

You wished for it to all be a dream but you saw Hotta’s Katana. It rested against the wall near the chair Kurapika was sitting on before. That was further proof it wasn't a dream. You pointed to it with a shaky hand.

“Is that—?”   
“Yes, it is. I figured you would want this.”   
“What about him..?”  
“I buried him. You can rest easy knowing he received a proper burial…” 

Immediately you tore the covers off and rose to your feet. You looked around quickly for your shoes.

“You mustn't move so quickly,” he advised.   
“Take me there, Kurapika.”   
“…”   
“Please,” you begged.   
“I planned to… But you just woke up.”   
“So?”   
“So you must take it easy…”   
“Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly fine…” 

Kurapika sighed and helped you find your shoes. He gestured you to sit and kneeled to put them on for you. When you were ready to go Kurapika escorted you back into the forest where Hotta was buried. He held your hand the whole way through the forest. Kurapika wasn't particularly affectionate but he was trying his best to comfort you through this pain. He guided you to the patch of grass where the sun poked through the trees. One ray of sun fell upon a flower that was now in the spot where Hotta was buried. 

“Is this the place?” you asked.   
“It is… Although, I don't remember seeing that flower before.”   
“That… That is a Zeuil flower,” you informed him. “There is a legend that a long time ago there was a great war and the battleground became a field of Zeuil flowers…”  
“…”  
“It appears when a warrior with a pure heart is killed. It is believed to mean that the soul of the departed has been reborn…”   
“Does that bring you any comfort?” Kurapika asked.   
“I’d like to say that it does… But no. It doesn’t…”   
“I understand.” 

You clenched Kurapika’s hand angrily and although it hurt he didn't complain about it. When you realized what you were doing you let go of his hand. 

“I’m sorry…”   
“It’s quite alright…” 

You took a few steps forward towards the flower on your own and your eyes teared up. It was happening all over again… Your first guardian was your mother who gave her life for yours. Now, it was your second guardian who died— for no good reason! You didn't know why he had to die. It wasn't fair… These people were truly ruthless. Thinking about the band of thieves made your blood boil. You clenched your fists and Kurapika recognized that your rage was building up again.

“I’ll kill them all…” You said darkly.   
“I can’t allow you to do that.”   
“You can’t stop me…”   
“I know what you’re feeling right now. Believe me, I know better than anyone how angry you are but I’m asking you to entrust this to me. I’ve already chosen this path. I’ve committed to it and there is no going back for me. You have a chance to do more with your life.”   
“And do what? I don’t know what to do now…”   
“You once said you wanted to make the world a better place. You should do that…”   
“I don’t know how…”   
“You do. You’ve just never had to do it alone before…” 

Kurapika came beside you and grabbed your hand again. You turned your head to see him looking at you. 

“You frightened me when I saw you lose control… I was worried you were gone for good. Rage is an incredible thing… It already tainted me… I am who I am because of my rage.”   
“…”  
“Don’t follow my path, please.”   
“…”  
“I promise you the Spiders will pay for the lives they've taken. The Kurta Clan, Hotta, and countless others have died at their hands. I will make sure there is retribution.”   
“…”   
“I just need you to put your trust in me…” 

Kurapika placed your hand over his heart to make his point. You felt his strong heartbeat and remembered the dangerous limitation he put on himself. He already went so far to make this group pay.

“You have my trust but this is my fight now too…”   
“I’ve already taken a vow. Let me do it.” 

You tearfully clenched the fabric on that spot where his heart was. You didn't know if you would be willing to impose a limitation like that on yourself. Even if you wanted to, Hotta warned you to never do that. How far were you willing to go to avenge him? Would you throw away everything he ever taught you just for revenge? You couldn’t… You couldn't disgrace his memory for your own selfish reasons. Revenge was for the living. The dead doesn't benefit from it... Not really.

Finally, you let go and rested your head against the top of his in defeat. You had to leave this to Kurapika. He was the best suited to handle them. 

“You win…” you whispered.   
“Thank you… I won’t fail you,” he whispered back. 

You kept your head pressed against his for some time until he pulled back and looked up at you. He still held you close to himself while looking into your eyes. 

“Speaking of vows… I had a lot of time to think while you were unconscious. I’ve come to a decision about our relationship…”   
“…”  
“As it stands right now, we don’t have the time or the emotional capability to be together. Not to mention that associating with me puts you in a great amount of danger…”   
“…”  
“You said you would wait for me… And while I still think that is a foolish thing to do I think it is our best option at this point…”  
“…”  
“So, here is my proposal. Meet me in five years in that little town on the first day of spring. Come at dusk. If you do not show up I’ll assume you’ve lost interest. If I fail to show up you can assume I am dead. At that point, you needn't wait for me any longer. You can move on with your life…”   
“You think this will be over in five years?”   
“I don’t intend to drag this out.”  
“What if you forget to show up?”   
“I won’t forget.”   
“How do you know?”   
“I wouldn't miss my own wedding day.”   
“…Excuse me?”   
“If we both return and our feelings are unchanged we will marry on that day. Do you object to that?”   
“No, I’m just surprised…”   
“You shouldn't be.”  
“What if you don’t like who I am in five years?” you asked curiously.  
“I think it is more likely you won't like who I am…”   
“I’ll always love you… Your heart is kind. That is what matters.”   
“So is yours.”   
“My feelings won't change… So I agree to your proposal.”   
“And you’re certain?”   
“I’m certain.”   
“Then… We’re in agreement.” 

You two sealed your agreement with a kiss. It was the last kiss you two would have for a long time. You hoped it wouldn't be your final kiss. You needed Kurapika to keep to his promise. No matter what he became you would love him. Where others saw a monster you saw him for what he really was. The same could be said for you. Anyone else may have run away from you when you lost control, but not Kurapika. Instead of running away, he ran towards you. Both of you deserved to be together but the time wasn't right. 

Soon after that, you and Kurapika went your separate ways vowing to meet again in the future when your vendettas have been settled. Kurapika resumed retrieving the scarlet eyes and took the full responsibility of apprehending the Phantom Troupe. Unfortunately, this recent series of events that took place proved that Kurapika could not have anyone around him. He truly believed he was a hazard to his friends. He reverted to his old habits of keeping himself at arm's length and stayed laser focused on his goal. 

You returned to Yorknew City with Hotta’s katana at your hip. You took ownership of the bar and kept it closed for the time being. It took a few days to sort through Hotta’s things in his apartment above the bar. As much as it hurt, it had to be done. He was a man who kept many secrets and you discovered there was a lot you didn't know about him. 

You discovered a map with different islands marked off in red. There were also various books about “The Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women.” Putting the pieces together it appeared he was trying to find Masneha. Between the books was a journal with notes detailing what he found so far. The dates ranged from nine years ago until now. The journal explained that he used Shared Mind on each member involved in your abduction before killing them. Only the leader of the group had useful memories about the island but he was too difficult to restrain and extract the memories from. Hotta was only able to obtain glimpses of the route before killing him. Your memories also did not show a route but only the traumatic events of your capture. 

The journal was left unfinished with the last log being six months ago. It appeared this is what he did in his free time. Hotta never shared this with you or the Hunter Association. This was his own special project. You logged into his computer guessing the password and found even more information. He was terribly organized with folders upon folders cluttering the desktop. 

By finding all of this it became clear what you needed to do with your life now. You had to finish what he started. There was a chance that the island wasn't completely destroyed as you believed. There could have been survivors, at least, that is what Hotta thought. You began your investigation which was eventually disrupted by the politics of the Hunter Association. Apparently, the former chairmen retired and the hunters were being gathered to vote in the 13th Hunter Chairman Election. Before you went on your voyage you had to travel to Swardani City to participate in the election.


	14. Queen of Masneha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler warning: There are references to events that happen in the election arc. If you haven't gotten up to this part and you don't want spoilers you can skip this chapter.

Politics didn't interest you but since you were a Hunter it was your duty to show up to the 13th Hunter Chairman Election. You wondered if Kurapika would show up as well. While sitting you scanned the crowd to see if you could find him. You wanted to tell him what you found in Hotta’s apartment and what you aimed to do now. Unfortunately, he wasn't there but… Someone you did know was. 

A man from the crowd who introduced himself as Leorio yelled into the microphone in the same way he yelled into the phone. The difference was he seemed even angrier this time. He was yelling at the man on stage, the one known as Ging, one of the zodiacs. In a surprising turn of events, Leorio punched the man using Nen. Well… At least this boring election just got exciting.

From what you could gather the man on stage was a negligent father. He was Gon’s father. Gon was Leorio and Kurapika’s friend and ended up in the hospital. It sounded like he was in real bad shape. You didn't know the details but the situation seemed serious. Leorio was livid over Ging’s reluctance to see his son. The guy gave some half ass excuse saying something like his friends were enough… As if! If it wasn't for your Mother and Hotta you didn't know what sort of person you would have become. He wasn't even your real father but he was the only father you ever had. You had a lot to thank him for. 

Soon after the drama, you were able to get to Leorio before he left. It wasn't easy as you had to fight through the crowd just to get to him.

“Leorio,” you called out him.  
“What!?” he yelled turning around. “You got a problem or somethi—”  
“Do you remember me?”  
“No, I don’t, and I don’t care!”  
“I’m the mysterious woman on the phone. The one who was looking after Kurapika…” 

Leorio paused for a moment and calmed down slightly. He took a step forward and looked from side to side. 

“Where is he? Is he with you?”  
“No… I don’t know where he is right now.”  
“Tell him to get his ass over here! I keep calling him and he still won’t answer me! At this point, he’s just being a jerk!”  
“He’s not a jerk,” you corrected Leorio. “He’s a lot of things but he isn’t a jerk…”  
“Tch. Doesn't he care about Gon?”  
“Of course he cares. He values his friends.”  
“Doesn't seem like it…”  
“He does, trust me.”  
“You seem to think you know Kurapika pretty well…” Leorio said in a snarky voice.  
“I do.”  
“…How is he?”  
“He’s doing well,” you lied. “He’s just a little busy… I’m sure he will get back to you as soon as he can…” 

You turned away and tried to leave Leorio on a positive note. He put his hand out signaling for you to stop. 

“Hold it,” Leorio barked. “I know you’re lying. Don’t just tell me what I wanna hear! Did something happen? Is he drinking again? Tell me what’s going on!”  
“He hasn't touched a bottle since the incident… He is alright… You’re in his thoughts, that is all you need to know.”  
“Wait a second! Lady, you better come back here!”  
“Gon is at the hospital in the city, right?” you asked while turned away.  
“Why do you care?”  
“I’m going to pay him a visit.”  
“You don’t even know him!”  
“Does it matter?”  
“…”  
“I’ll go for both of us…” 

Leorio was stunned by your response. Of all things he didn't expect you to say that. You were gone before he could even respond to you. Just what sort of person were you? An incredibly selfless person no doubt. Well, that just pissed him off more! If a total stranger could visit Gon his father certainly should! 

You did exactly what you said you would and went to the hospital to visit the boy you didn't know. There was a sheet around him and it seemed as if he was horrifically deformed. You didn't know what happened to put him in such a critical condition. It was just awful… Keeping a respectable distance from the concealed boy you cleared your throat. You thought of what you wanted to say and put it into words. 

“Gon, we don’t know each other but you must be a very special person to have so many friends… I envy you.” 

You paused and waited for a response that never came. Taking a deep breath you continued. 

“Kurapika is… He is busy but if he was here now he would wish you the best. You are important to him… He loves his friends very much. Thank you for being his friend… That is all I came to say…” 

You turned to leave the room and walked down the hall passing a short person with large buck teeth and a hat. The person looked at you pass by but you paid them no mind. 

“It was nice of you to do that,” a soft woman’s voice said and you recognized it right away. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to look at the short individual.  
“…Melody?”  
“That is correct,” she nodded and smiled. 

You didn't want to be rude… But you did not picture her looking like this. Her appearance did not match her voice. You wouldn't dare say something so terrible so you kept the thought to yourself. Melody stayed silent and closed her eyes for a moment. You were a little confused as to what she was doing. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and looked up at you. 

“Your heartbeat is so sad… It tells me your heart has been broken and you’ve endured much hardship…”  
“…”  
“Yet… It beats with unstoppable vigor. You are determined and brave…”  
“…”  
“Kurapika is lucky to have someone who loves him as much as you do…”  
“…How did you know all of that?”

For a moment, you thought maybe Melody had a similar Nen ability to Hotta. You didn't want anyone else poking around in your mind, you didn't even like it when he did it. You got on guard waiting for an answer from Melody. 

“There is no need to be alarmed,” she assured you. “I can hear the heartbeat of others and that tells me a lot about their emotions… There is a deep longing in your heart as well. It wasn't difficult to figure out who you were longing for…”  
“I… So much as happened,” you said looking down. “I failed you. I failed you, Leorio, Gon, and all his other friends… I couldn’t help Kurapika…”  
“I think you did more for him than you realize.”  
“But—“  
“Making someone feel loved assures them their life is worth living. You didn't fail.” 

You began to tear up again thanks to Melody’s words. You would like to believe that was true. You wanted to believe that Hotta’s sacrifice meant something. You fought back your tears and turned around. 

“If you see Kurapika anytime soon, can you give him a message for me?”  
“Of course.”  
“Tell him… I’m going home. He’ll know what I mean…”  
“Very well, is there anything else you wish for me to say?”  
“There is nothing else to say other than… I look forward to the day where we meet again.”  
“I’ll be sure to add that.” 

Melody kept your message in mind for the next time she would see Kurapika and you left the hospital. After a few more days of putting up with this annoying election, you were free to go. You decided to vote for Leorio. You figured he was the sort of man Hotta would appreciate. You knew for a fact he would have rolled over in his grave if you voted for Pariston Hill. He was everything Hotta hated wrapped up in one overly smiley man. 

To your surprise, Gon was healed and crashed the election with a few other guests. Right before that you felt an incredible amount of power in the area. There seemed to be a lot going on that you didn't know about and so you avoided introducing yourself. You slipped away when Ging began to fight multiple hunters for criticizing his parenting. You had a few words for him yourself but that could wait… You had a mission. 

After re-reading Hotta’s notes, investigating, and mediating to recall something from your memories you figured out where the island was. You boarded a boat that took you to another island. From there you discovered a flock of Green Tipped Kiews. They were massive birds that showered one another by scooping up water with their bills and pouring it over the other. They were a pale yellow color with green feathers on their wings. You approached the birds and communicated with them using your Nen ability to mimic their bird calls. You explained that you meant no harm and you needed help. The birds communicated with one another and then agreed to aid you. 

Riding atop a massive Green Tipped Kiew with the others behind the leader you headed for Masneha. The closer you got the thicker the wind and fog became. The Kiews pressed on as you held on tight. It was a barrier put in place for protection. You were happy to know that the island was being protected. This was a good sign, it meant it wasn't gone. The wind became so strong that you were blown off the bird you were riding on. You fell towards the dark blue water but the Kiew scooped you up into their mouth before hitting the water. 

Being in the mouth of a large beast was frightening but you trusted the birds. The Kiews were resilient and determined to reach the island, just like you. Finally, the Kiew that was carrying you opened its mouth and you saw sunshine. Your island… Your home… It was still here. The inactive volcano was surrounded by trees for miles. It was the single most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and you remembered seeing it once before. Suddenly, the Kiew you were in was shot with a spear and went down. The others cried out in retaliation and prepared to attack. 

Your bird hit the ground and you rolled out of its mouth. Looking up at the other birds and waving your arms around you communicated with them, telling them to stop. The birds held their positions and you were surrounded by tall female warriors holding spears. They towered over you while holding their weapons ready to attack any moment. Their ears were elongated like yours except yours were still studded with the blue sapphires Kurapika gave you. 

Suddenly, your ear was yanked by an older woman with grey hair. She was still quite tall for her age and you recognized her. She was the elder who insisted you were useless to the island. 

“You’re one of us…”  
“Ow— I came back!” 

You pushed the elder away with one strong push as the warriors still held their weapons up. You looked around at the warriors surrounding you not with fear but relief. 

“The island… Is still alive…” you said softly.  
“Foolish girl, this is all that’s left,” the elder barked out. “Do you consider that as alive?”  
“It’s better than the entire race being killed!” 

There were survivors and even if it was just a handful it was something. This was amazing! You counted about twelve grown women including the village elder and eleven little girls clinging to the legs of their mothers. Their ages ranged from three to seven. It wasn't a lot but considering the massacre you witnessed, it was amazing. You figured only the twelve grown women were the original survivors. The little girls must have been conceived after in an attempt to repopulate the island. 

“I remember you…” The elder said. “The weak one.”  
“Tch. Do not call me that,” you sternly corrected her.  
“How did you find us?”  
“That doesn't matter,” you said. “Tell me what happened. What happened after I was abducted?”  
“There is nothing to know,” the elder woman sighed. “Hundreds died… But our warriors did not go down without a fight. Your mother and her sisters fought to the death. Those who weren't killed were abducted. Most of them were your age and younger.”  
“Where are they now?” you asked with urgency.  
“The young ones are still missing. Though, if they failed to defend themselves they were worthless anyway.” 

You drew Hotta’s Katana from the scabbard with the lightning speed he once had. You pointed the sword at the elder. Her cold words made your blood boil. 

“How dare you… How dare you measure someone’s worth on strength alone!”  
“Are you going to finish us off? Hmm?”

You took a deep breath remembering to restrain yourself. This isn't what you came here for. You weren't here to fight… The last thing you wanted was more bloodshed. You sheathed your sword demonstrating discipline. 

“I reclaim this island as mine! I am the queen now! Things will change… And I will find the others who were taken. They’re out there. I will bring them back. Anyone who objects to this can challenge me. I welcome it.”  
“Oh? Well look at you…”  
“I will make us thrive once again… But things have to change for us to survive. We won’t live in fear of the outside world. Yes, some are wicked and selfish… But there are also those with kind hearts. There are those worthy of love.”  
“You speak from experience?” The elder asked you.  
“I do,” you said curtly remembering Hotta and Kurapika. “There are good men out there…”  
“I suppose it can’t be helped… I’m too old for this and it is your birthright after all…”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Your mother had three sisters… The eldest of them ruled the island… All three of them died. Their children were either killed or stolen. You’re the only one from that bloodline left.” 

You were almost in shock by this development. You remembered your Aunt who ruled with an iron fist. Her children were next in line and so were your other cousins. It never occurred to you that one day this responsibility could fall to you. 

“You wanted me dead because you feared one day I would rule..?”  
“I thought you were too weak to rule… You’ve proven yourself to be strong.”  
“I want you to resume looking after the island while I’m gone,” you said sternly. “From this day forward, you will do what I say without any hesitation. What I say goes.” 

The Elder sighed again and nodded while the other women put their weapons down and got on one knee to show you respect. The little girls tilted their heads down emulating their mothers. You put a fist over your heart vowing to keep your word to them. While Kurapika walked down the path of revenge you walked a path of restoration. You wanted to tell him that your tribe was alive. 

You would have to wait to tell Kurapika all about it. Until then, you would be on your own journey finding the girls that were abducted from the island. No matter how long it took you would accomplish your goal. The spirit of your mother and Hotta was with you to guide you and make sure you wouldn't succumb to your rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thank you to everyone to has supported this story. I'm going through a tough time right now, as many people currently are. Your kudos, comments, views, and overall encouragement means a lot. It makes my day to see people enjoy my stories. A story always starts with an idea and it takes a lot of work to turn that idea into a story. Writing stories people enjoy is my favorite thing to do. There will be more stories from me in the future. If you like my work make sure you check them out :)
> 
> Shout out to my best friend who always reads my stories and gives me feedback on them. She's the best! 
> 
> I also take requests. If you have a particular character or scenario in mind you can request it. Depending on what it is I might turn it into a story. 
> 
> Stay safe, friends <3


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